Groom Reads Impossibly Sweet Vows To His Bride's Young Daughter, Because He Wants To See Me Ugly-Cry, Presumably — VIDEO

I have to believe that as we get older, biology reconfigures the threshold at which we crumble into tears. Not only does the threshold drop dramatically, the trigger pool grows to encompass an endless array of tear-inducing catalysts. Movies are no longer safe, threatening to cue a sob fest to reflect various emotions—including relief, fear, cheer, and obviously, sadness. To be totally transparent, I gotta admit right here, right now, that even a well-crafted beer ad might cause my eyes to glass in a threatening way. Those are the less obvious tearjerkers—but weddings? Ugh. All bets are off. Tears could come at any point. And with this footage from NASCAR driver Brian Scott's wedding to Whitney Kay in January 2014, I was pretty much done for before I even pushed play.

In the video, Scott crouches to address his bride's 2-year-old daughter, Brielle. He tenderly recites a separate set of vows he wrote especially for her, listing the promises he swears to deliver during his lifetime: "I promise to always hold your hand and skip with you down the street and bring comfort to your life," he says, voice threatening to crack with raw emotion. A quick camera pan around the attendees reveals he's not the only one poised to spout waterworks. I seriously have no idea how anyone could have managed a stonewalled expression during such a touching moment. Grab a box of tissues and coo along with the clip below:

Definitely not crying over here. It's...allergies. Ice allergies. Stop looking at me!

Image: PenWeddings/YouTube