In July, I was perhaps the only person on Twitter who didn't eat up the chum that was Syfy's Sharknado, the bad film that invited a media firestorm (sharknadostorm?) and launched a sequel, Sharknado 2: The Second One. Mostly because I insist on hipster-ing Sharknado, having been a longtime fan of Syfy movies far greater than the one featuring Tara Reid's failed comeback. (Mega Piranha, anyone? Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus? How can you claim Sharknado is superior to a film featuring a shark eating an entire plane mid-air?) But I have a feeling I won't be the only one with Syfy shark ennui — especially after seeing the trailer for the upcoming Avalanche Sharks.
Attempting to give us the scariest thing we've seen in the show since Syfy's Abominable Snowman, Avalanche Shark centers on a group of spring breakers that are no doubt picked off one by one by a "snow shark," which is quite possibly the only thing more inane than the idea of a Ghost Shark, which the network failed to sell to audiences in August. You might have found a great (white) one with Sharknado, Syfy, but people will eventually tire of the fanged creatures. (After all, even this year's Shark Week on Discovery failed to go over well with viewers.) It's time we start to branch out. It's been awhile since spiders got attention, Syfy. Or cockroaches. Or why not try the blobfish for size? You have so many options!
Sigh. Hey, at least Tara Reid's not in this one.