Kris Jenner Vacations With Dakota Johnson & Melanie Griffith, Which Probably Means Kim Kardashian Is Due For A Film Role
I want to begin by saying that I do not believe that Kris Jenner has ulterior motives in everything she does. Nor do I believe that Jenner is always thinking of her children's careers before anything else. Sure, Jenner is an infamous Momager and is probably the first person people think of when they try to define the word, but that doesn't necessarily mean that it's her 24/7 job or anything. However, when I heard that Jenner was on vacation with Dakota Johnson and Melanie Griffith — as in, Dakota Johnson from Fifty Shades Of Grey — I became immediately suspicious. After all, Kim Kardashian is a fan of Fifty Shades Of Grey and, with her and Kanye West slated to cameo in the upcoming Zoolander 2 sequel, this could be her chance to transition into film.
Then again, I'm not completely sure that Johnson is actually with Griffith and Jenner. In the Instagram pictures the two mothers shared of their vacation, Johnson doesn't appear — although a source told E! News that she is there in Cancun with them. Maybe she's just not as addicted to Instagram as the Kardashian Klan is? Regardless, even if she didn't think of it before, this is the perfect opportunity for Jenner to land Kim K a role in the Fifty Shades of Grey sequel, if she plays her cards right.
So what are the easy steps that Jenner could take in order to ensure that the world gets to see Kim Kardashian reach a whole new level of fandom by actually getting a cameo in the film franchise she loves so much? Well, that's what I'm here. To help Jenner, and to help the world.
Step One: Get Them Relaxed
Step Two: Mention Kim K A Lot
Not that Jenner plays favorites with her daughters, of course, but, if Kim K isn't on the vacation with them, then mentioning her a lot is the best way to get that name to stick in Johnson's head.
Step Three: Mention How Much Kim K Loves Fifty Shades A Lot
It will sound a lot like flattery at first, which is what makes it such a perfect opener. "We all loved Fifty Shades, but Kim loved it the most! She talks about the movie all the time!"
Step Four: Joke About Kim K Getting A Role
"...wouldn't it be, like, so funny if she got a cameo? Like, she would die. I think she would actually die. She wouldn't show up for work because she would have been screaming too loud to hear the set location. So funny!"
Step Five: Call Kim K And Ask If She's Interested
In response to Jenner's question, expect Kim to give a long, high-pitched squeal that is only terminated when Jenner hangs up the phone and goes, "See? Too funny!"
Step Six: Act Surprised When The Role Is Offered
She might need to practice her surprised face in the mirror a lot. Somehow, I feel like Jenner has already done this.
Step Seven: Drink Tequila Sunrises
As Kanye would put it, SWISH.
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