Justin Bieber's "Hold Tight" Forces You To Picture Him Having Sex

Did every single pop artist just get together and collectively decide that today would be the day that they'd each release new singles? First Lady Gaga, then Taylor Swift, and now this — Justin Bieber's new single, "Hold Tight." Unlike those previous two singles, though, this one came pretty close to making my ears bleed — just a warning, since I care about you all as readers.

With this song, Bieber is continuing his quest to be seen as a more "mature" artist — but it doesn't help that his idea of "mature" seems to be emulating the Ying Yang Twins' Whisper Song with every track he puts out. Seriously dude, speak up! I can't even hear you through my headphones.

Then there are the lyrics. While, so far, Bieber seems to have stuck with a pretty tame version of seduction (In "Boyfriend," for instance, he sang about being everything a girl could want — suggestive, but not explicitly sexual), in this song, he took it up a few notches in the most hilarious way possible: In the song, Bieber croons, "Don't let this go to your head / But you're the best, I've ever had / Not to mention / That thing is swollen / You got me oh so in a trance."

That thing is swollen? Hint: He's talking about his dick.

Worth noting, as the Huffington Post points out, is what Bieber reportedly said of the song to J-14 . "I am a hopeless romantic so when I love someone, I never want to let them go," he said. Not creepy. "This song is about the rush you get when you have that feeling. No matter how hard you try, you can't let that person go. You just want to hold on as tight as you can. I tried to capture that with this one."

Right. Also, all that stuff about his dick.

You can listen to the song below.