What Your Favorite Wine Says About Who You Are In Life, Because You Chardonnays Are A Lot To Handle

People who love wine are part of a community of infinite variety. We range from the 21-year-old who chugs rosé out of a jug, to the bachelorette parties that tour California wine country in a party buses, to master sommeliers who can identify wines from taste alone. Some of us drink wine out of coffee mugs, some out of expensive crystal, and some out of blue plastic wine glasses because we’re incapable of not breaking nice things (ahem). Varied as we are, however, we all have one important thing in common: Wine makes us very, very happy. We all have our favorite varietals and labels, the ones we immediately look for on menus and liquor store shelves, which leads us to a very important question: Can wine tell us about our personalities?

Well, why not? The things we put on and into our bodies say something about who we are: the clothes we wear, the food we eat, and, I would argue, the wine we drink. So I’ve put together a list of some of the most common types of wine found in the US with what your favorite might say about you. Full Disclosure: I am not a wine expert. I am what you might call an “avid connoisseur” of all wines in the six to eight dollar range, but I am no sommelier. (I do, however, know how to spell the word “sommelier,” so that has to count for something, right?) Take these generalizations with a grain of salt – or better yet – a healthy swig of your favorite vintage.

Hit it, wines!

Chardonnay

Like your favorite oaky, buttery chardonnay, you’ve got a big personality with flavor to spare. You’re not everyone’s cup of tea (or glass of wine), but those who like you really, really like you.

Pinot Grigio

Pinto Grigio may not be the most exciting wine ever, but you love it because it’s simple and really drinkable. In fact, maybe too drinkable – how many time have you poured yourself a glass, only to find yourself accidentally plastered two hours later? You also have an eerie affinity with The Real Housewives of New York that you just can’t seem to shake.

Sauvignon Blanc

You’re obsessed with crisp, fruity New Zealand sauvignon blancs, and you’re not afraid to admit that you’re a little fruity yourself. You love to have fun, but aren’t an intense all-night partier; your idea of a good time is hitting the beach with a bottle of sauv blanc, friends, and music. You also love saying “sauv blanc” as often as possible.

Merlot

Sideways gave merlot a bad rap, but the truth is that merlot is a smooth, easy-going varietal. You’re the type of person who likes to unwind with a glass of wine after a day of work, and you’d much rather relax at home alone than hit happy hour with others.

Cabernet Sauvignon

Subtlety is not your thing—you like your wine dense and bold. There may be a bit of posturing at work here: You want people to know that you’re tough, you take no sh*t from anyone, and you are not remotely deterred by the possibility of a tannin induced headache. You also like to say “cab sauv” a lot, and in your future, you’re going to fall in love with a sauv blanc drinker and have lots of babies with abbreviated nicknames.

Pinot Noir

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As a pinot noir lover, you are the type of person who can be difficult and demanding, but when people take the effort to know you, they find that you’re a soft, kind, generally delicious person. Or you’ve simply seen Sideways one too many times and are just following the trend.

Sparkling Wine

As a bubbles-lover, you have a fizzy personality, and you love to celebrate. If you’re the type that sticks strictly to Champagne, your love of a good party is rivaled only by your desire to feel fancy at all times. If you’re a dedicated cava drinker, you’re both romantic and practical; you want to get your revelry on, without draining your bank account.

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