'Friends' Joey Is The Perfect Not-Boyfriend

by Tracy Dye

Hey guys, how you doin'? I'm doing just great (thanks for asking!), as I always am when I have the opportunity to talk about my favorite 90s sitcom, Friends, which is otherwise known as the best television show of all time. While conversing about said sitcom, I often notice that the topics quickly foray into Ross/Rachel or Chandler/Monica territory. That's all well and good (I love, love, love the aforementioned couplings), but today I'd like to set my sights on one Mr. Joey Tribbiani. We all remember Joey as the affable — albeit, dim-witted — ladies' man who had a penchant for multiple slices of pizza and smooth talk. For all his fear of commitment and rotation of casual girlfriends, Joey was somehow able to surmount the great feat of being a certifiable "player" without coming off like a jerk.

This brings me to my next point: in today's dating culture, Joey would have made the perfect not-boyfriend. As someone who has accumulated vast experience on not-boyfriends ("I'm sort of talking to someone right now, but whatever," has practically become a mantra within my dating vernacular), I can attest that Joey's humor, geniality, and charm are befitting of what we all look for when we kind of want a relationship, but actually totally don't want a relationship...or do we? Agh, love is scary! Let's take a deep breath, reheat that slice of pizza from two days ago (you know you want to) and take a look at the reasons Joey is as good of a not-boyfriend as not-boyfriends come.

Your "Dates" Won't Simply Consist of Dinner & A Movie

I mean, I love dinner and movies, but sometimes it's nice to switch things up. Since Joey was a seasoned(?) theater actor, you could enjoy a not-date with this not-boyfriend by taking in a different kind of show.

He Won't Judge Your Noshing

I'm all for being healthy, but when a date spent the first 15 minutes of our evening talking about his morning ritual of egg white smoothies and bicep curls, all I could think about was how anxious I was for some unlimited breadsticks to make an appearance.

He's Hilarious

Don't we all list "sense of humor" as one of our top qualities to seek in significant others? Just because your not-boyfriend hasn't made the leap to full-fledged "boyfriend" status yet doesn't mean you don't want to share a chuckle or two.

He Has Awesome Friends

Having a not-boyfriend isn't always synonymous with heartbreak — trust me, I know. Sometimes you become romantic with someone only to discover that you're better off as friends, and actually want to keep that friendship intact. With Joey, you're not only gaining one great friend, you're gaining six new comrades to enjoy conversation with over oversized cups of coffee.

He's Got The Moves

Want to go dancing? Call up this cat.

He's Kind Of Irresistible

I don't care if we're in a grey area when it comes to that pesky "monogamy" thing, I still enjoy when you know how to bring the charisma — and, yes, being goofy is what I equate with charisma.

He Could Actually Make A Good Boyfriend

It can happen: your not-boyfriend can turn into your actual boyfriend. In fact, don't all relationships begin in a sort of grey area when it comes to exclusivity? Joey has a great sense of humor, charm, kindness, and always knows how to "be there for you." That sounds like an amazing boyfriend to me! Joey, if it weren't for the fact that you're a fictional character, I would totally be making some moves.

Images: NBC; Giphy (7)