It's still another month before Ant-Man comes out on Jul. 17, but, if they keep putting out promotional material at this rate, I'm gonna need to lie down. I know some people were really jazzed on The Avengers: Age of Ultron, but I've always had a bit of a soft spot for the underdog superhero, and a teensy tiny crush on Scott Lang actor Paul Rudd, so this is much more my scene. Also remember back there when I said it was just a "teensy tiny" crush? That was a big time lie, and I would leave my entire life behind for Rudd in a second if he asked me. Whatever the proper adjective is for a crush like that, I don't think "teensy tiny" was quite accurate.
But anyway, there's a new Ant-Man poster out, in addition to the Ant-Man trailer I've already watched about ten thousand times, and, since I still have a month and a half to go before I can see this masterpiece in theaters, I have to get my fix any way I can. Which, in this case, means pouring over the poster for clues and coming up with some burning questions that it brings up for me. Won't you come along with me on this obsessive journey?
Why Is Ant-Man In This Photo Twice?
I suspect it's just to show him as Scott Lang and his alter ego, but, if it means there are two Paul Rudds in this movie, I'm gonna need an adult. Or just someone strong enough to catch me when I faint.
Who Hurt My Sweet Sweet Baby Paul Rudd?
Mama sees the butterfly bandage on his face, and she's ready to give a stern talking-to to whoever laid hands on him.
Does Michael Douglas Dye His Beard?
Real talk.
Why Does Bobby Cannavale Look So Much Like Jake Gyllenhaal?
I've never noticed before, but now I can't un-see it.
Is It Okay That I'm Attracted To Corey Stoll?
Because the ship really sailed on that one in House of Cards.
What Frat Is Michael Pena Pledging This Semester?
He's really got the face for it in this photo.
Would Evangeline Lily's Haircut Look Good On Me?
That's a hard no. For all of us. Check out the poster below.
Images: Marvel (2); Giphy (7)
