'Southern Charm' Star Craig Has A Job So Shh, Shep

I come from a family of lawyers, so when I see Craig trying to be a lawyer on Southern Charm , I can't help but draw comparisons. Actually, I'd probably find some way to compare Craig's lawyering skills to one thing or another even if I didn't have tons of lawyers in my own family. You know what? I think I'm going to do just that, because who's gonna stop me? After some thought, I've come to the conclusion that Craig is actually like a lot of TV and movie lawyers.

Sure, it was pretty questionable as to whether or not Craig even passed the bar exam for a while, but really, we don't see any fictional lawyers even think about the exam, so who's to say they passed it either? Also, tons of fictional lawyers just get by on chance and charm and come into work hungover to make a comedic point, so why can't Craig do that in real life? (Read: Craig obviously can't do that in real life considering he just got fired from his job on the show so oops?)

Now, it's important to keep in mind that these comparisons aren't exact, and that there are going to be plenty of people out there who think that I'm disrespecting the fictional characters more than I am Craig. To all of you I say:

Here are the eight TV and movie lawyers that I can't help but see in Mr. Craig Conover:

Fletcher Reede, Liar Liar

He's so coiffed and the only reason he was good at his job prior to his son wishing that he had to tell the truth was that he was an awesome liar. Craig always told his bosses that the reason he wasn't in the office is because he "did so much work last night" and thought he'd just sleep in, because that makes sense for a professional environment, right? Fletcher Reede's one day of honesty is pretty much what Craig's would be if he had to be honest and also wasn't allowed to have a beer or eat his morning cereal out of a pot.

Jared Franklin & Peter Bash, Franklin & Bash

I actually love these guys. They're funny and sarcastic and, ultimately, are pretty decent lawyers. Craig could be a fun combination of the two if he just applied himself. And now I feel like his mother or teacher because I just used the phrase "apply yourself."

Elle Woods, Legally Blonde

Not the awesome "I know you're guilty because perm maintenance is key" Elle Woods, but the momentarily depressing "I will follow Warner Huntington III to the ends of the Earth" Elle Woods. No one likes that Elle Woods.

Marylin Delpy, The Social Network

She served no purpose in this hearing or in this movie. I think she had maybe three lines, and none of them contributed to the situation in any way, shape, or form. Much like Craig at his office. *BOOM*

Billy Flynn, Chicago

For obvious reasons (he was very pretty and also the worst).

Lt. Daniel Kaffee, A Few Good Men

He's just as coiffed, just as (kinda) full of hot air, and I feel like if Craig were ever put into a courtroom situation, this is exactly how he would handle it. He wouldn't come in with questions, he wouldn't have any evidence — he'd just look at his witnesses and be all, "TELL ME WHAT YOU DID. DO IT. TELL ME. PRETTY PLEASE. TELL ME. NOW." This would go on for hours.

Barry Zuckerkorn, Arrested Development

Ah Barry. Poor, sweet, underqualified Barry. You and Craig are just one in the same, aren't you?

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