Find Out What Your Name Would Be Today With This Baby Name Calculator, So You Can Call Your Parents And Demand A Do Over — PHOTOS
First off, all y'all can suck it. Emma and Noah were the top baby names of 2014, and seeing as Emma was barely even on the charts when my parents gave me the name, I take full responsibility for its meteoric rise to the top. (I can't help that I'm so popular.) But although your name is usually said and done once your parents slap it on a birth certificate, someone made a nifty calculator to find out what your name would be today, based on the popularity of the name you were given in the year it was given to you.
Here's the basic math behind it: Once you plug in your name, the calculator will figure out what the number ranking your name was compared to other baby names in the year that you were born. Then it will find the name with the equivalent ranking for a baby name today, and voilà — that's your 2014 name. And seeing as my name has been so popular in the last decade that it's almost #basic to be named Emma (thanks for nothing, Friends baby), this might be as good a time as ever to get my name changed to something more suitable for the unique special snowflake of a human that I am.
Here is what the tool looks like in action. First I typed my stats into the calculator (my stars, now you'll all know how old I am!):
It turned out that my name was #122 on the charts at the approximate time I popped out of my mom's uterus. Taking that into consideration, the calculator determined what my 2014 name would be ...
Which is, incidentally, my little sister's name (minus one "L"). I guess my parents know how to set a trend?
The calculator doesn't stop there, though. It takes the rankings as far back as baby name data goes and shows you what your name would have been in every decade as far back as the 1890s.
This is especially pleasing to me because I have friends named Cara and Winnie, and was thiiiiiis close to getting named Amanda before my parents settled on a name that sounds uncannily like someone clearing their throat instead. (To be clear, I love my name, but when any name is that simple you tend to hear it everywhere and anywhere. Also I am obsessed with myself and assume everyone is saying my name at all times, so...)
To find out what your name would be today and every other decade, click here.