Bride Jumps Into Water And Almost Drowns, And It's Like Rain On Your Wedding Day, Except Not Because You Did This To Your Own Self, Lady — VIDEO
You know how some situations are actually hilarious and others are funny but not, like, "ha ha" funny? OK, well some videos are hilariously dumb and others are just dumb. It's one thing to make a compilation of epic dance-offs, people running into walls or balancing babies. And it's another thing to make a viral video that puts you at risk of drowning on your wedding day. That's not a little bit of rain on your wedding day that will bless your life together. THAT'S DANGEROUS. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? (As you can probably guess, a woman jumped into water in her wedding dress and almost drowns.)
If you're wearing a dress that weighs you down by 10 pounds, why would you jump into deep water? Forget the fact that it's your wedding day and you don't want to smell like sulfur on your wedding night. Forget the fact that you probably spent a small fortune on your hair, make-up and wedding dress. Ignore the family and friends you invited from all over the world on your special day. And just stop and think about SAFETY.
It's your wedding day and you deserve to do whatever your heart desires. You want the moon? I'll freaking throw a lasso around it. AS LONG AS YOU DON'T JUMP INTO DEEP WATER.
Are we clear?
Here's the video. It'll make you go on a rant that Twitter's characters cannot contain. Trust me.
The YouTube description says:
The bride jumps from boat and nearly drowns ..... husband almost collected the life insurance in record time.
Tell me that's not the saddest thing you've ever read about a wedding. But also, it's hard to be sad because WHAT?
Anyway. The blushing (read: soaked) bride got out of the water just fine (thank goodness). And I'm sure she'll go on to lead a beautiful life with her husband. We wish them all the best. And beg that they stay far away from the coast because I don't trust them near water.
We'd also like to remind them that they can only jump into water under these rigid circumstances:
While wearing a bathing suit and/or skinny dipping on the honeymoon
30 minutes after eating
Don't you, "Oh please" me. That's what they're going to tell their children, so they may as well start practicing it now. Especially because if they were to have children right now, all they they would have to say for themselves is, "Mommy jumped into water in a wedding dress. She doesn't recommend it."
With a lifeguard on duty
I know that's extreme, but they don't have such a great track record.
(Also this just gave me a great opportunity to use an iconic Sandlot gif.)
Images: Getty Images; Giphy(4)