4 Things Women Can Teach Men About Sex Toys, Because Guys Shouldn't Be Ashamed Of Using Them Either
For women, the stigma against sex toys is waning, but for guys? Not so much. According to The Independent, sales of sex toys for men have risen over 1,000 percent in the past decade — with cock rings and The Fleshlight topping the list of most popular toys — but many male users still face prejudice from their peers and partners.
The prevailing stereotype of the guy who loves sex toys is the creep with the blow up doll in his basement, but a 2014 sex toy survey by FHM found that 70 percent of men felt that they should be able to use a bedroom accessory without shame, and 78 percent of men said they would consider buying one. Sexual pleasure is a genderless right, and the persisting macho stereotype that suggests "real" men don't need any assistance to amp up their sex lives has got to go.
Given that ladies have the sex toy game on lock, and even the most powerful women in the world are vocal about their vibrator love, we are the ones who can actually show dudes a thing or two about the benefits of pleasure tools. Here are four things women can teach men about sex toys:
1. Positive Attitudes About Sex Toys Lead To Higher Levels Of Arousal
Two studies conducted by research scientist and sex educator Debby Herbenick published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine showed a positive correlation between vibrator use and sexual function in women. Interestingly, women with negative beliefs about sex toys who used them did not have the same boost. Because attitudes can affect pleasure outcomes, it makes sense that the more guys get comfortable with their vibes and toys, the better their sex lives can be as well.
2. Sex Toys Bring Couples Together
Contrary to the idea that people who use sex toys solo will become so enrapt in masturbatory ecstasy that they forget about partnered sex altogether, a little mechanical support can actually bring couples closer. There are a staggering number of couple's sex toys on the market to choose from, and if you're worried about your guy getting jealous of yours, Herbenick's abovementioned research also found that men are way less intimidated by their female partners using sex toys than is usually reported. Seventy percent of men disagreed or strongly disagreed with the idea that they would be threatened by a vibrator. In turn, ladies shouldn't be threatened by a guy who likes (or needs) a little help either.
3. Sex Toys Can Make You Better In Bed
You don't need a study to know that women who learn to get themselves off (often with a sex toy) have a way easier time climaxing with a partner. (But just in case you do need a study, here's one from Psychology Today.) The same thing goes for men, but in a slightly different way. The Fleshlight Stamina Training Unit, for example, helps guys prolong their erections, which can only make for a more pleasurable experience in bed.
4. Taking Charge Of Your Sexual Pleasure Is Empowering
Any female sexual explorer who has discovered her own G-spot with a sex toy knows that taking charge of your individual sexual gratification is almost as enjoyable as the climax that punctuates your pleasure quest. Sometimes it takes a tool or two to achieve the sensations you desire, so choosing the aid you prefer is always a vote for yourself. Since self-esteem and autonomy have been proven to play a large role in sexual health and wellbeing, guys are only doing themselves a disservice by shying away from the tools at their disposal. So go forth and purchase your toys, gentleman, we won't judge you!
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