Another day, another Drake album still kept away from our eager ears. Yup, Drake still hasn't released Views from the 6, a now very theoretical piece of work that's slowly becoming the Chinese Democracy (a la Guns n' Roses) of hip-hop. You'd think there's not much to do except bite our tongue, play another round of Drakeopolypse, and try to envision the day that sweet album will flood our iTunes... but I'm a woman of action. Diving deep into my own previous well of Drake conspiracy theories, I decided to take it upon myself to design a few album covers for View from the 6.
Of course I'm imagining his next album will be a conceptual work that really ties in the relevance of the number "6" in his life. Using my own creative abilities as a serious artist (read: design school drop out) I really wanted to make those relevant ties while embellishing on said theories. Also, I decided to go for a look that combines badass rap swagger with a refined elegance...and comic sans with more comic sans.
I think it's all very on-brand.
So don't worry, Drake, I got you covered... literally. Just finish writing the album, and then feel free to slap on one of these babies.
1. The Lil' Kim And Nicki Minaj-a-trois Theory
So this one was about how Nicki Minaj and Drake have been secretly married this entire time, but they live in separate apartments, and Minaj's arch-rival Lil' Kim has been living in one of her wigs. Makes sense, right?
2. The Drake Has Been Dead Since Degrassi Theory
This theory implies that Degrassi actor Aubrey Graham got shot in real life as opposed to just on the show, died, and replaced with a look-a-like named Drake. OR it implies that he got shot, died, and is actually a ghost, and also his wheelchair is a ghost? (“Six” here refers to the number of times Drake is called “Wheelchair Jimmy” in an average blog post.)
3. The Drake Doesn't Exist AT ALL, And Is Just A Fancy Hologram Theory
I mean, I pretty much just explained that theory, but Views from the 6 could be special for including SIX Drake holograms. (Ooh, and Tupac Hologram is featured on track three?!)
4. The Theory Where Drake Is Going To Make A Dating App For Dogs
I mean, whatever, live and let live. "Six" refers to the number of matches his pup has on Barkr this week.
5. Satanic Leanings?
Yeah, I mentioned this before, but Satanic leanings is my go-to when it comes to conspiracy theories.
So, go ahead, Drake — choose whichever one you feel fits the best! You can totally just send my check over in the mail.
Images: Mary Grace Garis/Bustle (5)