The Internet, among many other very important life lessons, taught us there are two camps of human: cat people and everyone else. There are pros and cons to both associations. An overwhelmingly positive attribute, however, is the indisputable, scientific fact cat people are better in bed.
I know some may argue, "No, Beca. There are cat people and there are dog people and also, why don't you ever wear pants? We get that you're writing from home, but still..." Right, well. You're wrong. About the cat people and dog people, that is. (Also, pantlessness is truly the closest to godliness you can get, and you're all jealous.) You can accurately infer a lot of information about a person based on whether or not they own a cat. Like, if they own a cat, they're probably gonna be a bit more selective with being demonstrative with their affections in public. As a person who exists in public frequently and never wants to see strangers or even people I know demonstrating affections, I consider this a bonus to one's core character. However, with cat people, it's a different story behind closed doors. Cat people are a more open breed with complex, sophisticated approaches to life and one of life's best facets: sex. Here's why cat people are better in bed:
They know what they like
Cat people have more independent tendencies. They have already done a thorough self-investigation and concluded things that work and things that don't, including a laundry list of favorite positions, toys, soundtracks—you name it. They're not here to mess around.
They're down to experiment
Cat people have an open mind, usually. If you're curious about getting a little freaky, folks with feline alliances might be your best partner bet. Also, if they discover you're not into a certain activity, no worries because—
They don't need a lot of validation
People with cats are used to be snubbed on the regular, so if you're not feeling the introduction of sex pillows or whatever, there's no need to fake a few validating moans. You can be real. Toss the pillow and get back down to business sans acrobatics and props.
They aren't selfish
Cats very openly rule the manor (or tragic apartment on the side of the highway, in my case). As such, cat people are well practiced in the art of respect, even if sometimes paired with an eye roll.
They don't care about convention
Sure, there's the crazy cat lady trope, but that's total garbage. Any cat owner can tell you all about their own personal rejection of this stereotype. It also proves how few fucks they give about social standards that they go forth with their cat hair-covered clothing with swagger regardless. You know what's hot in a sex partner? Bold confidence, regardless of popular opinion.
They're smarter
Science says so. With heightened attention to detail and the brains to problem solve, that suggests a more bangin' time in the sack.
There won't be an audience
In general, cat owners are more likely to live alone. That's great, since no one I know enjoys making small talk with random roommates while en route to the bathroom for a little post-coital pee.
And here is their theme song:
Image: Pexels
