9 Ways 30-Somethings Have Way Better Sex

I’m the first one to admit that being in your 20s is awesome. It’s still a little confusing and once that quarter-life crisis hits, you’re pretty sure it’s the end of the world. But then that passes and everything is cool again. Cool, of course, until you realize that you’re 29 years old and 30 is just months away. Oh, the tears I cried as 30 got closer and closer; they were immeasurable. But I turned 30, then 31, and have miraculously been 31 for four years now. Not only do you have better direction for you life goals (I said “better,” I didn’t say you’ve finally figure it all out), but sex in your 30s is incredible.

The way you feel about yourself, both physically and emotionally, makes for more intense relationships and experiences with others. Maybe it’s because you’re just minutes away from turning 80 and dying (I kid!), but when you see something you want, especially when it comes to sex, you go out and get it. You’re a sexual being and because you’re open about your sexuality, you’re having amazing sex. I mean, science says that sex gets better with age, so obviously things are going to be quite different between your 20s and 30s.

Does this mean that sex is awful at younger ages? Of course not! But what it does mean is that practice makes perfect, time turns everything into a fine wine, and most guys, by the time they reach 30, finally know exactly where your clit resides in your body. It’s basically a recipe for awesome. Here are nine ways 30-somethings have way better sex.

1. You’re Way More Empowered

You’re financially independent, you can pick and choose what you do, how you live, and whether or not it’s responsible to buy shoes over groceries this week. When you’re empowered in you professional life, that carries over into the bedroom. Even if once those doors are closed you become a submissive who wants to be dominated, you still have the power, because that’s the sexual roll you choose to play. Choice is power.

2. You Own Your Sexuality

You don’t just embrace it, but you own it. You decide who and where, and navigate it all by your compass. You make no apologies for your sexual desires and you don’t let society’s hang-ups ruin your right to have a good time.

3. You Know How To Communicate Better

Like waaaay better. In your 30s, you don’t let things slide. You’re vocal both in and out of bed about what feels good, how you like it, and how you’d like your partner to do things.

4. You’ve Finally Figured Out How Your Body Works

By the time you’ve reached your 30s, you’ve probably had a lot, and I mean A LOT of one-on-one time with your body, which means, you have mastered how things work. You know exactly the type of pressure it takes applied to your clit to orgasm, how wet you need to be for things in your vagina to feel perfect, and you definitely know how you want to be touched by someone else. That, right there, makes a huge difference in how great your sex life is, because as we all know, if you can’t make yourself come, you can’t expect anyone else to be able to do it either.

5. You’re Not Afraid To Say ‘No Thanks’

Even if you haven’t had a golden shower, there’s probably a good chance that you know, for sure, whether or not it’s going to be your scene. I’ve found that it’s with age that I’ve been able to pass on things that I may not have passed on when I was younger – like the whole titty-fucking thing. I never passed on that in my 20s, and now when my husband suggests it, I stare him down in a way that makes it so he won’t suggest it for another 365 days. I can say "no, thanks" now, no problem.

6. You Have More Body Confidence

Although you may never think your body is perfect, but when you get into your 30s, you have a greater appreciation for just how amazing your body is. Studies have found that over 50 percent of women put off sex because they're lacking in body confidence. Feeling down on yourself sometimes is normal, but learning to love yourself isn't just bringing you one step closer to great sex, but one stop closer to internal harmony, too.

7. You Realize Sex Is A Give And Take

I think when you’re younger, you go about sex as if sticking to a script, perhaps forgetting that it should be fun, laid back, and more of a give and take. This doesn’t mean you should give or takes things you’re not in interested in, but it does mean that giving is sometimes just has hot as receiving.

8. You're Far More Willing To Experiment

True story: You just can't go through life doing the same position and using the same techniques over and over again. That's not how one has a great sex life. It's with age, I've found, that I've been way more open to experiment with things than ever ... and I know that has almost everything to do with confidence and that fact that I don't take sex too seriously.

9. You Can Laugh

Sex is funny! There are all those weird noises, funky smells, and sometimes someone accidentally farts. I once accidentally farted in a guy's face when he went down on me! That funny! Awkward, but at least we laughed! It's when you can finally laugh during sex, that you now you're really enjoying yourself.

Images: Lies Thru a Lens /Flickr; Giphy(9)