There's A Huge Vortex In This Texas Lake & I Have Some Ideas About What Should Get Sucked Into It

In other news that sounds like it came out of a horror story, there's a giant vortex that opened up in a Texas lake. And though it looks scary as hell, the 8-foot-wide hole in the lake is actually an intentional opening used to drain water reserves when the levels get too high. So, because the vortex is a controlled safety precaution, I've got some ideas of other things we could get rid of in addition to the excess water.

Lake Texoma, one of the largest reservoirs in the U.S., lies on the Texas-Oklahoma border. The lake is formed by water backing up from the Denison Dam on the Red River, which has recently been overwhelmed by the flooding in the two states. To alleviate the higher-than-usual water levels, the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers opens up floodgates (really!), which caused the vortex.

"Just like in your house when you fill a bathtub full of water and [open] the drain, it will develop a vortex or whirlpool," BJ Parkey, assistant lake manager at Lake Texoma, said in a statement to Business Insider. I can tell you that no bathtub that I've ever been in has created an 8-foot whirlpool, but hey.

This is the second time that Lake Texoma has flowed into the spillway this year, which is the first time in recorded history that water levels have reached that high. The water reached such heights that officials have put on guard to potentially shut down the Interstate-35 bridge that crosses the Red River, which divides the two states.

What do you do with a watery cyclone that is big enough to suck up a boat aside from stare at it in wonder and horror? Well, I have a few problems from Texas and Oklahoma that I'd like to disappear into the depths, never to surface again.

- The recommendations to the Austin City Council on how to deal with women in local government.

- The statues of Confederate soldiers that still sit on the University of Texas' campus.

- The proposed law that would ban the abortion pill in Oklahoma.

- The Blue Bell ice cream recall that has plagued both states.

- Global warming, which has caused the states to get all that extra dam water in the first place.

- Tuition hikes for state schools in Oklahoma.

- Rick Perry and Ted Cruz's presidential campaigns.

Images: Youtube/U.S. Army Corps of Engineers (2)