Woo wee, I cannot stop reeling from Tom “Ring on a String” Schwartz and Katie “Alleged Crotch Motorboater” Maloney's big announcement: Tuesday evening, Schwartz proposed to Katie, his longtime girlfriend and Vanderpump Rules costar. Fiiiinally. The third season of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills spinoff hit us with not one, but TWO proposal fake outs, so yeah, it’s safe to say there’s been a lot of buildup to this moment. And yeah, it’s safe to say I’ve combed through their costars’ reactions to the news. And yeah, it’s safe to say I couldn't wait to hear Katie’s ex-BFF/ex-Vanderpumper Stassi Schroeder’s take. What will the white wine-swilling SURver of yesteryear say? I didn't have to wait too long: on the latest episode of her podcast, Stassi addressed the engagement.
At the 42-minute mark of this Thursday's ep of Straight Up With Stassi, the titular host and her mom/guest, Dayna Schroeder, congratulated the freshly affianced Katie and Schwartz. If you're hoping the the former Vanderpump Rules star peppered her reaction with talk of daggers or acid-soaked *ahem* devices, you’ll be disappointed; Stassi has “nothing but love” for Gordo Vonfriendenhiemer’s parents. She also shed some bittersweet tears.
“It really affected you, though,” Dayna said. “When you saw that picture last night, you shut down. Tears were coming out. You were like, ‘Oh, my god, I was supposed to celebrate this moment with her.’”
Let us take a moment of silence for that friendship breakup. Will always and forever root for a Katie and Stassi reconciliation. I care a lot about the Vanderpumpers, OK? SORRY NOT SORRY.
“I’m really happy for her and I’m happy for him," Stassi said. "And it’s a-f******-bout time, right? What have they been together, five years? Tom Schwartz, dragging his f****** a** [laughing]. No, nothing but love and I’m really happy for them.”
Aw, STASSI! So diplomatic, so kind.
It just might, Schroeds. It just might.