Entertainment

Shawn B. SHOULD NOT Be The Next Bachelor

by Jodi Walker

You guys, I'm worried about Shawn... I'm not sure if he's going to be able to make it out of this season of The Bachelorette without some serious emotional scarring. I know among the group of oddballs that ABC forced Kaitlyn to date this season, there are really only, like, two reasonable contenders for the next Bachelor, and Shawn B. is one of them, but for his own sake, we can't let Shawn be the next Bachelor. He just can't take it.

Shawn, with his Batman voice and Gosling face (OK, and also Gosling body), took the early lead this season as a fan favorite and therefore potential next Bachelor, but as time has gone on, the Bachelor machine has crept into Shawn's brain and driven him near mad, as it's done to many a strong contestant before him. Some unsolicited advice to anyone going on one of these shows in the future: It will always be harder than you think. I've never hear anyone on The Bachelor(ette) ever say, "This has all been so much easier than I thought it would be."

But Shawn didn't have that sound advice heading into his shared whirlwind romance with Kaitlyn, and even though he started as someone who I could have easily seen being passed the Bachelor baton next season, he's quickly discovered he's probably not cut out for the Bachelorette "process." I'm not even sure if Shawn would take the baton, if offered. I know it's pretty much a given that he is going to make it to the final two at the end of this thing, and if he takes second, that still makes him way too hung up on Kaitlyn to be able to move on and start dabbling in polygamy just a few months after getting his heart broken. We haven't had a runner-up as Bachelor or Bachelorette since Ben Flajnik's season and what a mess that was — if you don't remember it, you can simply read its winner Courtney Robertson's tell-all book about it where she will gladly reveal how much of a mess it was.

No, Shawn is just a little too hung up on Kaitlyn and a little too uncomfortable with the Bachelor process to be our next rose-giver. My concerns for Shawn as the Bachelor are simple:

Ability To Date 25 Women At Once

Shawn seems a little overwhelmed by opening up, but once he "takes his wall down," he falls hard. I think, then, it might be a little overwhelming for him to have to be open with up to 25 women, not to mention having multiple women tell him they're in love with him or that he's "the one." If he fell for more than one woman, he might find himself in a real emotional pickle (and probably end up breaking more hearts than necessary).

Ability To Communicate Clearly

And the key to not breaking too many hearts is to communicate clearly. That was a problem for Chris Soules, who just couldn't seem to spit out his words; that was a problem for Juan Pablo, who was kind of a liar; and it's been a bit of a problem for Kaitlyn, who perhaps over-communicated with Shawn by telling him he was the one, when she had a lot of other "ones" she was still dating. Shawn's natural tendency to be completely honest, combined with the need of the Bachelor to protect the multiple women he's leading toward heartbreak would likely tear him up inside.

Ability To Handle The Pressure

As tough as it is to be the guy who's watching his girlfriend make out with his enemy, I think that Kaitlyn would tell you the pressure is even higher on the other side of things. Not only are you looking for the love of your life (and secretly trying to prove to everyone who thinks you're insane for doing this show that it was actually worth it), but you're also trying to make sure you don't make any mistakes that will hurt the people you've grown to care about. I think Shawn would make those mistakes. He seems like an earnest person, but he also seems kind of like a rash person when it comes to emotions. And while a little bit of fire is always appreciated for entertainment value, a level-head gets you to the end without America seeing every single angle of your ugly cry face.

Basically, I'm describing a male Andi Dorfman here, which means basically I'm describing Ben H. So, make Ben H. the Bachelor and Shawn can come visit him and advise him because they're already in bro-luv.

Images: ABC/Rick Rowell; Giphy (3); Ben Higgins/Instagram