Last-born kids usually get a bit of a bad reputation as selfish, demanding of pampering, attention-seeking, etc. I'm here to dismiss that. As a last-born kid myself, I can confidently assert we are actually very caring, independent, and chill folks. Basically perfect. Well, not quite, but it's true youngest siblings make for the best wingwomen.
Being a great wingwoman isn't easy. Lots of people think they're highly skilled at peddling around with their single-and-looking friends in nighttime situations, but lots of people are rather wrong. Having a confident, self-reliant human on your side when embarking on a rocky voyage out into the sea of single is absolutely imperative. When you add a high-maintenance individual with their own hard agenda and insane expectations as your skipper — welp, the ship is already sinking. I'm sorry.
Navigating bars, clubs, even a rowdy Applebee's happy hour can be a bit like battle. You must choose your comrades wisely, and among the smartest choices would be a last-born person. Growing up the baby of the family actually forces these people to grow up faster, learn to fend for themselves, and maintain a solid sense of humor throughout adversity. Like I said, we're A-plus people and make for totally killer wingwomen. Allow me to explain what lends to this:
We're outgoing
And youngest children love fun, so you know it's on when we bust up into some tortilla factory slash BYOB joint. If you're a bit on the shy side, don't sweat it — we'll bring the party. Somehow. (We always do.) This is thanks to parents' waning strictness as their number of children increases. Bonus for you!
We're pretty hilarious
So either we can cut into a babe circle with a killer one-liner before dropping you off to flirt it up with a specific one of those babes, or we'll feed you the joke before to DIY it. You can take credit, we don't mind. Seriously—we're generally relaxed folks.
We're competitive
When the goal is to get out friend into a conversation with a total fox at the sangria bar, we are going to make it happen. Science backs this, so don't even bother arguing.
We do great with crowds
Since our parents didn't necessarily lavish us with attention, we hone bad-ass crowd control skills. Babies have a penchant for "seducing crowds" (which sounds like a burlesque show but usually is not), so you oughta allow us to help part the hot person sea for your own perusal. We've got this.
Risks don't freak us out
That includes rejection. We're more likely to talk you into trying something bold and possibly scary. Let us inspire you to chat up the hottie who for some reason brought their own stein to the pub. Why not? Even worst case scenario (they aren't interested and refuses to grant you ownership of their prized German beer receptacle), isn't the end of the world.
We're creative in most arenas, flirting included
Not to toot ~my own horn~, but one of my most proud wingwoman moments was during a girls' trip to Maine. We were at a swank oyster bar and my friend has spotted a real dime by the display case. I hooked arms with her, her number written on a napkin I carefully folded, and strutted right up to his table. Feigning to lean in and survey our options, I pretending to fumble the napkin exactly in front of his drink. I thumbed at her and winked at him. They had a really great first date (and last, unfortunately. Hey! We were on vacation) the following night. See? Pretty creative, huh?
We're cool on our own
Youngest children are notoriously, ferociously independent people. We don't need nobody, yah hear? But honestly, this bodes well in the wingwoman situation. Once we feel you're off safe and sound with a new boo, we don't need companionship to function. We're for sure solid flying solo, so you go do you, bb — just let us know if you need back and we'll sweep you on up and away from the unsavory situation.
Images: Groundswell Productions; Giphy(7)
