Here’s How Barbie Can Afford That Malibu DreamHouse

Everyone is feeling the strain of inflation — even Barbie, it seems. She’s Airbnb-ing her Malibu DreamHouse to make some extra cash, on top of licensing her name to every brand under the sun: She has a pink burger at Burger King, her own farfalle, a hot pink toothbrush, an Xbox console, and will even help you find the love of your life on Bumble. Why is she hustling so hard?

Is it possible she made some ill-advised purchases — like her over-the-top digs? The DreamHouse — which boasts a pool, a private roller disco, and a bedroom for her companion Ken’s horse — likely cost between $7.7 million (per Realtor.com) and $10 million (per RubyHome). At the upper end of that estimate, Barbie would need to make about $2 million a year to keep up with mortgage payments, which is a lot for one doll. Even with the Airbnb-ing and brand deals, how is she affording that?

Barbara “Barbie” Millicent Roberts boasts an impressive stream of income, thanks to her highly remunerative, if unconventional, career path. She’s been working since she burst on the scene in 1959, and has since held dozens of jobs, including dentist, astronaut (four years before Neil Armstrong did in 1969), journalist, beekeeper, scuba diver, architect, travel agent, Pizza Hut cashier, and paleontologist. She’s also long harbored political aspirations: In 1992, she ran for president, and has run in every election cycle since.

Quite frankly, girlfriend needs a break. In 2010 alone, Barbie had 26 jobs, ranging from circus performer and news anchor to equestrian and dentist. In 2023, she took more time to herself, working as only a dentist, fashion boutique owner, panda rescuer, pastry chef, stylist, tennis player, United States President, and volleyball player (it’s called balance, sweetie).

So, what exactly does Barbie take home? One estimate is that she’s made $45 million throughout her time in the workforce. Surely she’s managed to stash some of that wealth away; perhaps she’s even privy to information that helps her play her cards right, a la fellow blonde career woman Martha Stewart.

But what that $45 million sum doesn’t take into account is inflation and fluctuating salaries over the years, along with the student debt she likely racked up in medical school, business school, and circus school. However, it’s likely that her higher-earning positions such as a doctor, rock star, business executive, and actor make up for her education costs and any lower-earning jobs. Don’t get us started on all the sponsorship she’s doing for her upcoming movie where she holds the titular role. Just this year, she’s projected to make roughly $1,066,956 (that’s the average take for her current gigs, all together).

Ken, meanwhile, has “no money, no job, no car, no house.” Singing about blonde fragility is nice, but it won’t pay the bills.