TV & Movies

11 Fleabag Quotes To Make You Laugh (& Then Cry)

This show was over far too quickly, but we'll always have the memories.

Season two of Fleabag came to a sad end in April 2019 but the spirit of the show lives on. To fans' delight, Phoebe Waller-Bridge has been reunited with the Hot Priest (Andrew Scott) in His Dark Materials, although he’s left his dog collar at home and she isn't actually seen on screen... Either way, it will have got you wondering if you should rewatch Fleabag from beginning to end again. And the answer is of course, yes, always. But, if you need a little bit more persuading, I've collected together 11 of Fleabag's best quotes, from the cutting truth to the completely hilarious.

Very rarely do characters come along who are so raw, ridiculous, and relatable that you can’t help but adore them. Waller-Bridge did that when she created Fleabag. I have no doubt that it wasn’t Waller-Bridge’s intention to create a life guru (I mean, Fleabag is the exact opposite of an influencer) but somehow that's what we got.

Season two of Fleabag was pretty epic. The love story with the Hot Priest and Fleabag’s relationship with Claire (played by Sian Clifford) broke me, and I couldn't believe it was the last time I was going to see my favourite characters on screen. But we'll always have the memories, I guess. And with that in mind, here are 11 of Fleabag’s best insights.

On Parenting

Season 1, Episode 1: "Dad’s way of coping with two motherless daughters was to buy us tickets to feminist lectures, start fu*king our Godmother, and eventually stop calling," Fleabag explains to camera – while walking into a feminist lecture.

No Fairy Tales Here

Season 1, Episode 1: Speaking about her passive aggressive stepmother (played by Olivia Colman), Fleabag says, "To be fair, she is not an evil stepmother. She's just a c**t."

Can't Stop Thinking About It

Season 1, Episode 2: Looking straight to camera, Fleabag tells us: "I’m not obsessed with sex. I just can’t stop thinking about it. The performance of it. The awkwardness of it. The drama of it. The moment you realise someone wants your body. Not so much the feeling of it."

In Remembrance

Season 1, Episode 3: Speaking to Claire by their mother's graveside, Fleabag comforts her sister by saying, "I did a fart the other day that was exactly like mum's."

Fun Drunk Martin

Season 1, Episode 3: Speaking straight to camera again, Fleabag explanation of her brother-in-law is basically every creepy man you've ever met: "The man's got a problem. But no-one wants to admit there's a problem because then they don't get to have crazy nights out with Fun Drunk Martin. He's one of those men who is explosively sexually inappropriate with everyone, but makes you feel bad if you take offence because he was 'just being fun.'"

Fashion Tips

Season 1, Episode 3: When tasked with finding Claire a surprise birthday present with awful Martin, Fleabag drops another pearl of wisdom: "Chic means boring. Don't tell the French."

Going Soft

Season 1, Episode 6: Mid-way through hooking up with Arsehole Guy, things go awry, and Fleabag tells the viewer, "There's always a stage when someone's falling in love with you that they lose their erection. They get confused, they panic, the stakes get too high, the blood rushes from their dick to their heart."

On Being A Grown Up

Season 2, Episode 1: In the restaurant at the start of season two Claire says that putting pine nuts in a salad doesn’t make you an adult. Fleabags response? “Fu*king does.”

Therapy Session

Season 2, Episode 2: “Look, just please tell me how to not fu*k a priest. Before I get arrested,” Fleabag begs her therapist (played by Fiona Shaw) and we're still waiting for the answer.

A Feminist Icon

Season 2, Episode 4: "Sometimes I worry I wouldn’t be such a feminist if I had bigger tits," Fleabag confesses to the Hot Priest and the rest of the congregation at a Quaker meeting.

High Stakes Haircut

Season 2, Episode 5: “Hair is everything, we wish it wasn’t so we could actually think about something else occasionally. But it is. It’s the difference between a good day and a bad day. We’re meant to think that it’s a symbol of power, that it’s a symbol of fertility. Some people are exploited for it and it pays your fu*king bills. Hair is everything,” Fleabag says as Claire sits miserably on a bench sporting her new pencil chop.

It'll Pass

Season 2, Episode 6: In the touching final scene of Fleabag, she finally tells the Hot Priest, "I love you." To which he replies, "It’ll pass." Queue hearts breaking across the globe.