Every day, Bustle’s tarot writer Carolyn Steber turns to her deck to answer readers’ questions.
Q: I’m jealous of my friend — her relationship, her success, all of it. How do I cope?
A: It’s tough to be friends with someone who seems to have everything. On the one hand, you’re happy that they’re thriving. You love the way they glow when they talk about their partner or their career, and you always cheer them on and celebrate their success. But at the same time, you’re turning eight shades of green.
This is why jealousy is so exhausting to deal with. Instead of smiling and laughing with your friend at brunch, or enjoying her company on a night out, your envy clouds every interaction. As soon as you got it in your head that she’s “better than you,” suddenly she became the winner and you the loser.
Just like that, it feels like she’s the smartest, takes the best vacations, wears the cutest outfits, and gets treated well everywhere she goes — even if that isn’t true. Meanwhile, you’re just the shadow trailing behind her. Or at least that’s what it feels like.
This type of jealousy might simmer gently in the background, but it also might rear its ugly head. (Remember when she got a raise and you nearly choked?) Since jealousy can take a toll on a relationship and make you feel like crap, it’s good that you’re looking into it. Here’s what to do.
Why Am I So Jealous Of My Friend?
While it’s easy to focus on what your friend has — shiny hair, a big paycheck, an impressive bag collection, etc. — what you’re actually jealous of is her energy. The Queen of Pentacles represents hard work, wisdom, and stability, and it suggests that’s the vibe your friend gives off.
When you think of it this way, you might start to realize that she’s just a normal girl doing normal things. Her life looks fun because she’s showing up with enthusiasm. In other words, it isn’t what she has but what she does with it.
How Can I Cope With My Jealousy?
Jealousy is tough to deal with, but it’s also kind of useful. Instead of thinking “woe is me” every time your bestie shows up looking glowing and gorgeous, tamp down the envy and let it be a source of inspiration.
The Page of Wands represents adventure, fresh ideas, energy, and cheerfulness — all things you can start to seek in your own life. When you have this outlook, suddenly your job seems more fun, you’re excited to get dressed up to go out, and you keep an eye out for new opportunities.
This is a major factor in lucky girl syndrome, which is all about having a positive outlook so that good things come your way. It’ll help you enjoy what you already have and, just like your friend, start attracting amazing things your way.
For more, check out your horoscope.
