Let's just go ahead and get this out there now: Back in the '90s, we all thought we were hella cool. Possibly because we were particularly susceptible to advertisements hawking things you thought made you so cool in the '90s. I mean, c'mon, who among us didn't fall hook-line-and-sinker for those Trapper Keeper commercials? You just knew your life would be a teenage dream if you could get your hands on the fads, fashions and trends TV made look so dreamy.
And believe you me — I know a thing or two about thinking you were cool in the '90s. I felt like the queen of the world walking around in my old gray corduroy flares with a Jerry Garcia patch sewn on the butt. True story. Bless my friends for not bursting my little bubble! But the moral of this story is that I thought I was cool. So despite the fact that some of the very things I thought made me so hip are now slightly comical or downright quizzical, all that really matters is how they made me feel in the moment.
Having said that, there's nothing wrong with looking back and having a little light-hearted laugh at the things we thought made us uber-cool in the '90s.
1Mastering Devil Sticks
But, like... why did we like these again? I used to waste time practicing with these puppies, just so I could stroll into school looking cool with a set in hand.
2The Perfect AOL Profile
It might take days. Maybe even weeks. But once you found the ideal combination of witty and mysterious for your AOL profile, you felt like you could rule the universe.
3A Rice Necklace
'Cause what says cool more than a grain of rice in a vial of water with your name inscribed so small it is basically illegible?
4Having a Cell Phone
OK, so, to be fair, most of us '90s kids didn't get our first cell phones until the early '00s — and the bricks and flip phones we adored then are considered dinosaurs now. But back in the day, we thought they were all so cool they'd never go extinct.
5Wearing Your Overalls with One Strap Undone
Sacrifice no. 129,949,439 made for fashion in the '90s: Always running the risk that the wisenheimers in your class would jerk on your unhooked strap and send you head over heels (and not in a good way).
If you don't think '90s slang was the bomb dot com, you can talk to the hand. Our lingo was all that and a bag of chips!
7Hard Rock Cafe Memorabilia
We rocked those t-shirts and guitar pins as if everyone didn't know that we went there with our parents in the first place.
They say everything is fine in moderation. Well, whoever "they" are didn't manage to get that memo to our '90s selves.
9Pockets Hanging Out of Our Jean Cut-Offs
I may or may not remember wearing these while dancing to "Whoomp There It Is!" in my driveway. Eesh.
10Getting a Page
Especially if it was "143" or a secret code from your bestie that you could lord over your other friends like social extortion.
11Matching Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend
brad pitt and gwyneth paltrow. pic.twitter.com/HY3tju8RGr— lines and actors (@linesactors) February 11, 2017
The idea of coordinating with our significant others for anything other than prom might seem silly now, but it couldn't have been that bad if Brad Pitt and Gwyneth Paltrow were doing it.