12 Discontinued Foods The Internet Still Misses, According To Reddit
We all have our own snack food white whales — those classic snacks with which we share a colorful history, although we’ve gone years being unable to capture them. Such is the nature of all those discontinued foods we still miss; unless the Snacktime Gods see fit to smile down upon us and resurrect our long-lost favorites, we must resign ourselves to the fact that we will likely never taste these glorious creations again. The internet has a long memory, though, even for things that existed long before it was a staple in our everyday lives — so hey, at least we can share our gustatory nostalgia with others in a similar state of wistfulness, right?
Indeed, that’s the primary function of our AskReddit thread of the day. Begun by Redditor Nomeia, it asks simply, “Which discontinued food do you miss the most?” — and boy, does the Reddit community have a lot to say on the matter. From favorite breakfasts to treasured after-school snacks, the thread is full of treats ranging from the ‘80s up through the early 2000s, proving that our love of gimmicky foods knows no bounds. Who says you can’t play with your food as an adult? Not me, that’s for dang sure.
I’ve picked out 12 of my own personal favorites below and done what I can to find out a little more about when they sadly vanished; head on over to the full thread for more. Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s just about lunchtime…
Suggested by: WeenMe
The peanut butter-filled goodness of PB Crisps was first introduced in the early '90s; by 1995, however, they'd been discontinued — something which truly baffles me, given how fondly they're looked back on by so many of us '90s kids. If you want to see what a package of the things from 1993 looks like today, Dinosaur Dracula has you covered.
please tell me y'all remember this candy... petition to bring altoid sours back pic.twitter.com/ziZNv6nvAL— chlo rida (@chloelindy) March 29, 2017
Suggested by: Mary_Metz
Although Altoids are primarily known for their "curiously strong" mints, for a few years in the mid-2000s, they dabbled in something a little sweeter: Altoids Sours. Introduced in 2004, they had six shining years in the sun before being discontinued in 2010. If you're really dedicated, you can still find them for purchase on the internet; just bear in mind that whatever you buy is, at minimum, seven years old at this point. Not even candy lasts forever.
Suggested by: mlg2433
In 1999, Snapple produced a line of drinks called Snapple Elements. Although the original line contained just the four flavors seen here — dragonfruit Fire, agave cactus Rain, grape cranberry Earth, and starfruit orange Sun — it later grew to include 12 juices, three teas, three energy drink versions of existing flavors, and three brand new energy drink flavors. Alas, though, they've since gone the way of all things.
Suggested by: cmc
Launched in the late '90s and discontinued in 2007 (except, apparently, in South Korea), Oreo O's capitalized on our desire to eat cookies for breakfast. According to Redditor ilonasaysrawr, Walmart sells a cookies and cream cereal that tastes somewhat similar to the Oreo O's of old — but also, I have just received word that Oreo O's are finally coming back. And soon — it's happening in June, apparently. Hoorah!
Suggested by: puffball9
During the era in which Bart Simpson was shilling Butterfingers (roughly the late '80s to the early 2000s), Butterfinger BBs hit the scene: Bite-sized Butterfinger candies that were shaped like Whoppers (the candy, not the burger). For the folks who, like myself, loved Butterfingers, but have trouble treating candy bars as movie theater treats, they were perfect; they eliminated the issues that can emerge from having to navigate a flaky bar of peanut buttery chocolate in the dark. Discontinued in 2006, their void has somewhat been filled by Butterfinger Mini-Bites.
Suggested by: Brutal_Rain
Sometimes I wonder if the creation of 3D Doritos was basically a happy accident, the result of an unexpected air bubble incident. In any event, though, 3D Doritos were around from roughly 1998 to 2003... and were still available in Mexico as recently as April 2016. Good to know.
Suggested by: HopefullyMrFixit
A brightly-colored fruit drink first introduced in 1994, Fruitopia was largely known for its psychedelic commercials. It was phased out in the United States in the early 2000s, although Redditor LoquaciousLoquat notes that it's "oddly, still very popular in Canada. It's in pretty much every soda fountain."
Suggested by: Schmoobert
Magic Middles hit their peak in the late '80s — and for good reason: They were unlike any cookie most of us had ever had before, or have had since. (Yes, I'm old.) The outside was kind of shortbread-like, while the inside was like eating melted fudge. A fellow Redditor, ruffyen, asked Schmoobert if today's E.L. Fudge Double Stuffed sandwich cookies compare, and, well... sadly, they don't. I mean, the ingredients are kind of the same, but a sandwich cookie is just nowhere near as magical as a filled cookie. Sigh.
9Ninja Turtles Pudding Pies
Suggested by: sfarcas78
During the original heyday of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (before Michael Bay got his hands on them), we were quite literally awash in Ninja Turtles food tie-ins: Cereal, cookies, microwavable pasta in cans, pizza-flavored snack cracker things... you name it, we had it. By far the tastiest, though, was Hostess' Ninja Turtle Pudding Pies. According to Hostess via X-Entertainment, they were produced during the late '80s and very early '90s specifically as a promo for the first round of live-action films — and although they were basically just vanilla pudding pies, they were green vanilla pudding pies, which of course made all the difference. Despite the recent resurgence in all things Turtles, there don't seem to be any plans to bring them back.
Suggested by: skinandsun
Holes amused us for the same reason that Dunkin' Donuts Munchkins did: They were ostensibly the middle of a bigger foodstuff. As is often the case with discontinued foods, no one is really sure why these little guys are no more; they were definitely fun, and the reusable containers were a bonus.
11Nintendo Cereal System
Suggested by: dinosaur_chunks
Made by Ralston — which was responsible for a huge number of popular tie-in cereals during the '80s and '90s — between 1986 and 1989 (again, yes, hi, I'm ooooooold), Nintendo's cereal got us with a very specific gimmick: It contained two cereals in one box. On the one side, you had a Super Mario-themed breakfast, and on the other, you had a The Legend of Zelda-themed one. Old boxes are highly sought after (although hopefully not to eat, as the oldest boxes of this stuff are almost as old as I am now); in February of 2010, for example, one actually went for over $200 on eBay.
12Flamin' Hot Cheetos Asteroids
Friend: What's wrong? You seem sad.— Nagy (@bobaphaatt) April 13, 2017
Me: I'm just really missing Flamin' Hot Cheetos Asteroids.... pic.twitter.com/RJnOtycIIN
Suggested by: largenumberone, among others
Honestly, this one stumped me: I've never heard of Flamin' Hot Cheetos Asteroids, Cheetos Flamin' Hot Asteroids, or any other form of Cheeto snack with "Asteroids" in its name. Furthermore, I was able to dig up virtually no information about it, despite its seeming popularity in this Reddit thread, except for this review of them dated August of 2004. I assume they were only available very briefly around the early 2000s, but maybe you all have a better memory of them than I do.