If you've ever paused mid-odd-moment with your partner and wondered
what do other couples do together at home, know that the answer is probably something similar. Pretty much every duo has a few things they do behind closed doors that they'd never admit to in public — or even to their closest friends — either because it's quirky or odd or a little too cutesy. But you know what? Once you're with someone, and you decide that you're comfortable and in love, anything's fair game.
From feeding each other food, to wearing each other's clothes, to popping zits together in the bathroom, all couples have a few habits that may seem a bit bizarre. And that's OK. "Everybody tends to behave differently behind closed doors," Jonathan Bennett, certified counselor and co-founder of
Double Trust Dating and Relationships, tells Bustle. "As couples become more comfortable with each other, they start to develop private habits that they might be reluctant to share with the world for fear of judgment or being considered 'weird,'" which is why very few of us would readily admit to partaking in some of the habits listed below.
But that's the thing to remember the next time you're wondering how you and your partner stack up on the eccentricity scale. These things may seem out there, but they are completely typical, and things all
couples who are comfortable around each other might do, from time to time. Here are a few examples, according to experts.
If you've ever reached across the kitchen table to wipe food off your partner's face, you are definitely not alone. "It’s a natural instinct to want to 'groom' your partner," Bennett says. "It could involve wiping dirt off of your partner’s face or something a little grosser, like scooping gunk out of [their] eye." As long as you're both OK with it, it's not a big deal.
It's not uncommon for couples to strip down, and waltz around their living space naked — in a completely non-sexual way. "On a hot day, you might not feel like wearing a lot of clothes," Bennett says. "This applies to couples, as well. So, you both spend the day sitting around in your underwear. It’s not meant to be sexy, just comfortable." If the neighbors happened to walk by and peek in, they might think it's a bit out there. But odds are, they've walked around naked, too.
Cuddling (Especially While Sweaty)
Once you decide you love someone, their bodily fluids kind of become your bodily fluids, which is why many a couple will cuddle — even after working out and
getting all sweaty.
"[...] couples who workout together and are already sweaty will sometimes feel the desire to embrace and even cuddle," Bennett says. "If you’re both comfortable with each other, too tired to shower, and already sweaty, it’s just easier."
Again, relationships are all about swapping bodily fluids. And sometimes, that applies to toothbrushes and other bathroom-y products. While it may seem extra cringeworthy, it's not unheard of for couples to share a toothbrush, or accidentally pick up the wrong one — and go ahead with the brushing anyway.
Other couples share towels, razors, and other personal hygiene items. And really, who cares? "We all have our own boundaries when it comes to this, but I bet you've done at least one of these things before," author and
natural lifestyle expert Jaya Jaya Myra tells Bustle. So do so with pride.
Peeing With The Bathroom Door Open
While not every couple will ever get to this level — or ever
want to get to this level — many duos out there see no issue with leaving the bathroom door open whilst they do their business.
"While a lot of people like privacy when they use the bathroom — whether it is showering, using the toilet, washing their face, shaving, putting on makeup, etc. — many couples do not mind if their partner comes in while they are taking care of business or doing their morning ritual," psychic and
spiritual counselor Davida Rappaport tells Bustle. "They may have an agreement that if the door is open, it is OK to come in. If the door is closed, well that speaks for itself."
While it's to be expected that you might hop in the shower and enjoy each other's company before sex, some couples shower together on the regular, just because it's convenient.
"In the 1970s when there was a water shortage, young couples used to say, 'Save water. Shower with a friend,'" Rappaport says. "Whether or not there is a water shortage, showering with your partner is a fun way to not only save water, but to 'wash each other’s backs.' Not only was it a bonding experience, but it was fun." And lots of couples still do so to this day.
Feeding each other, sharing a fork, sipping off the same spoon — there are no limits when it comes to coupledom. "While they may not do this when visiting someone, at an event, or in a restaurant, they may do this in the privacy of their home," Rappaort says. "They may view sharing food and feeding each another as romantic."
Brushing Each Other's Hair
If you think it's quirky that your sit around and brush your partner's hair, know that you two are not alone. "Combing or brushing your partner’s hair is something that some couples do to bond and also because they enjoy doing it for their partner," Rappaport says. "Some couples may even cut each other’s hair, apply hair color etc. This [may not seem like the norm,] because most people go to professionals and are very fussy about their hair. However, this can be considered sweet or odd, depending upon how you look at it." But if it's what you guys are into, go for it.
Doling Out Foot Massages
While not everyone might be quick to admit that they rub their partner's feet, this is entirely common. "While no one would ever really do this outside of their home, it is a nice way for partners to provide comfort, remove stress, and show how much they care about their partner," Rappaport says. "While someone may massage their partner’s shoulders in public, they [might not] do more than that or rub their partner’s feet. Providing comfort and showing affection in this manner is very sweet," but might be something that only happens behind closed doors.
Sharing (And Smelling) Clothes
Depending on how different you and your partner are size and style-wise, you might not consider swapping clothes. But other couples are all about it. "Couples often feel comfortable wearing a partner's clothes to sleep or even out to smell them or just feel like they are around,"
therapist Kimberly Hershenson, LMSW tells Bustle. So if you ever want to slip into your partner's socks, or lie around with their dirty t-shirt, do so confidently knowing that it may not be as different as it sounds.
Having Wild Dance Parties
"Couples often like to put on music and dance crazy together in their own space," Hershenson says. This is a fun way of bonding, and something pretty much everyone has done at one point or another. (Bonus points if you danced around naked.)
For some, this is totally not on the menu. But not everyone finds pimple popping disgusting. "Maybe you're fascinated with popping the pimples on [your partner's] back, or peeling off flaky skin after a sunburn," Myra says. "Or perhaps you like plucking your partner's eyebrows ... Whatever it is, you'll undoubtedly be involved somehow in grooming your partner." If you're both OK with it, then why not?
So keep doing whatever makes you both happy, however eccentric or creepy or naughty it might seem. Chances are, your neighbors next door are doing the exact same thing.