This Is How Women Are Really Getting Off

Originally Published: 
A person with a raspberry between their lips. These are the best techniques to have an orgasm, accor...
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According to a 2016 study of over 52,000 U.S. adults published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, only 65% of women can orgasm during sex. But when it comes to how often men can orgasm during sex, we’re looking at a whopping 95%. So unfair, right? That's why the world needs OMGyes.

OMGyes is an online site where both men and women can get the tips they need to make reaching an orgasm a reality. Although there are many reasons why a woman can’t orgasm during sex, much of it often has to do with the fact that 75% of women need clitoral stimulation to climax. If that stimulation isn’t just right, achieving an orgasm can be tricky business.

As Mic reports, OMGyes cofounder Rob Perkins was having a chat with his friend and fellow cofounder of OMGyes, Lydia Daniller, about just how elusive the female orgasm can be. Yes, we know it exists, but it’s the actual harnessing of it, and harnessing of it every time that seems to be the issue. Daniller told Mic:

We're experiencing something of a hangover from our previous generation, where it's still hard for people to see women as sexual beings on their own. It's fairly new that women are seen as having their own desires.

So Perkins and Daniller did what anyone would do in the name of trying to bring more attention to the female orgasm: They talked to hundreds of people about techniques, desires, and basically what gets them off. In 2015, they got together with researchers at Indiana University to poll over 1,000 women between 18 and 95, to get their input on what works for them. They were even able to enlist 30 people willing to demonstrate their favorite techniques on camera.

"The focus of OMGyes is actually not orgasm but pleasure," Naomi Sorbet, manager of content research for OMGyes and For Goodness Sake, tells Bustle. "The stories of thousands of women have clued us in to just how many aspects of sexual pleasure there are— each with techniques that can make it feel even better.

In 2019, that 1,000 women jumped to 20,000 women that OMGyes was able to survey and interview, according to Sorbet. Basically, no stone has been left unturned.

Not only did they get the insight they were looking for, but they were also able to put names to the various techniques that women use to make themselves come, either solo or with a partner. Then it was all compiled into a video that can be watched on OMGyes, because sharing the goods on this topic is important business.

Here are some of the awesome orgasm tips and techniques that you can find if you jump on over to OMGyes. Keep in mind, you might already be using some of these techniques, but at least now you have a name to go with them!

1. Edging

Courtesy of OMGyes

Personally, I love edging and it’s a practice I use often. Edging, also called "orgasm denial," is the technique in which you bring yourself close to an orgasm, then stop. In edging over and over ― bringing yourself close, then letting go ― you’re guaranteeing a bigger orgasm and even a longer orgasm. It's as though your body literally bursts with pleasure when it’s finally allowed to release.

According to OMGyes’ research, 65% of women practice this technique and these women have discovered how to use edging in order to build more intense and longer orgasms.

This can be practiced either solo or with a partner.

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2. Hinting

"Hinting" is another form of teasing that about 70% of women report that they practice. In hinting, the clit and the vaginal opening are given some attention, but not a lot, as stimulation is avoided until later on during masturbation or sex.

"Hinting is a whole set of techniques women use to 'fake out' the clit, vagina, or vulva to make their bodies practically beg for more touch," Sorbet says. "Which then feels ways better."

As Sorbet explains, hinting isn't actually about orgasms at all, but that ability to make the body beg for more — and more and more and more.

3. Consistency

For those who like to stick to a plan and not rock the boat, the “consistency” technique, in which an orgasm is built by sticking to the same consistency.

"Those moments between sensing an orgasm's approach and the orgasm itself are an important stage of arousal," Sorbet says. "For many women, keeping stimulation consistent during this stage is what builds the best pleasure and orgasm."

This particular technique might be something that appeals to those who have vibrators and like to keep them on the same speed until climax is achieved. For 65% of women, this is a preferred method.

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4. Surprise

According to OMGyes, the “surprise” technique, one that 70% of women practice, is defined as “defying expectation to enhance pleasure.”

"Surprise is a set of techniques women and their partners can use to keep stimulation feeling fresh and exciting by changing it in specific ways," Sorbet says.

Like anything in life, sometimes you need to spice things up and try new approaches — this also includes sex lives. In trying a new way to stimulate, perhaps one that you haven’t tried before, you're opening yourself up to new sensations. New sensations can be one hell of a surprise. Like Sorbet points out, you need to keep it fresh in the bedroom and this is a great way to do that.

5. Rhythm

Another common technique, at least for 80% of women, is known as “rhythm.”

"It turns out that for any specific way of touching the clit, the rhythm of the touch can change how it feels," Sorbet says. "The rhythm techniques are the four patterns of clitoral touch that women told us feel best."

A great way to try this technique is to find those four patterns that feel best, then loop that same motion over and over, getting the most pleasure out or until an orgasm is reached — if that's your goal. If you're feeling creative or really want to take things to the next level, include the edging technique or hinting.

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6. Multiples

Of course the name gives this one away, but “multiples” is the practice of stimulating the clit and vagina, or using any other technique that a woman has learned about her body in order to reach multiple orgasms.

"Multiples is about the specific techniques and insights women have discovered that enable them to have that second orgasm," Sorbet says. "And perhaps [a] third and fourth."

The research by OMGyes found that almost 50% of women are able to achieve multiple orgasms. That’s not only a very impressive percentage, but proof that multiple orgasms do happen — it just takes some effort and, more importantly, an understanding of how your body works and what it finds most pleasurable.

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7. Accenting

Courtesy of OMGyes

For “accenting,” women focus on a specific part of a motion on their clitoris, or whatever other part of their vulva feels best for them to stimulate for maximum pleasure.

"Accenting is the discovery by many women that they can feel even more pleasure by emphasizing just one part of a motion," Sorbet says. "So a woman who loves circles on her clit might discover that those those same circles feel even better with more pressure between, say, three and six o'clock."

Whether that motion is a tapping, circulation, or whatever else that feels good, 40% of women use this particular technique.

8. Framing

In “framing,” women focus on how reaching an orgasm is something that has more to do with the brain than the body. Because, let’s be honest, we’re a pretty creative bunch of people and can easily conjure up some great scenarios in our brains. That's why it makes sense that 90% of women would go this route.

"In framing, women share their techniques for getting in their best mindset for the most pleasure," Sorbet says. "For example, how to turn off distracting thoughts, and how to give themselves permission to receive pleasure."

Because framing is a common technique for women when it comes to pleasure, Dispea, an app that offers erotic short audio stories, was created. The app helps women unwind, block out the rest of the world, and guide them in framing to get the most out of their pleasure.

9. Staging

When a woman practices “staging” she adheres to the sensitivity changes in her body and adjusts them to reach an orgasm.

"For many women, the body's sensitivity changes with the different stages of arousal," Sorbet says. "For example, the most pleasurable touch at the 'approach to orgasm' stage generally isn't what feels best for the 'warm up' stage, and vice versa. If you've ever been with a partner or a vibrator, and the stimulation was too strong, too soon, you've experienced this phenomenon. Same thing if you've ever done something that felt phenomenal, until it felt 'meh'."

As Sorbet explains, in learning what feels best at each stage will intensify the pleasure that can be felt throughout the entire sexual experience.

According to OMGyes' findings, this is also a fairly common practice with 90% of women reportedly using this technique.

10. Layering

Courtesy of OMGyes

For 65% of women “layering,” in which “indirect pleasure” is focused on the surrounding areas, is a technique that is used to reach an orgasm.

"Layering is a set of ways to fine-tune how softly the clit is touched," Sorbet says. "Women can use these techniques to find what types of touch feels best, and then return to them easily, like having recipes."

And the fun thing about recipes is that practice makes perfect — lots of practice. Then when you finally perfect that recipe, you'll know you can do it right. Therefore making it a sure thing; sure things always deliver.

11. Orbiting

True to its name, “orbiting” is all about circling the clit in all the ways that feel oh-so good.

"Orbiting explores the huge variety of 'circles on the clit' that feel best to different women," Sorbet says. "Specifics really matter in such a sensitive area, where ecstasy, 'meh', and 'ouch' all live just a few millimeters away from each other."

And, unless you're into a little (or a lot of) pain with your pleasure, "ouch" is probably an area you wan to discover soon so as to avoid it. According to OMGyes, 60% of women report this technique as the one they use most often.

12. Signaling

Lastly, although certainly not at the bottom of the totem pole since 90% of women practice it, is "signaling." As OMGyes defines it, signaling is a category of techniques of “giving and reading feedback.” In doing so, pleasure is achieved by processing these signals exchanged between partners, then responding to them.

"When people learn what I do, one of the most common questions they ask is, 'How can I talk to my partner about what goes on in bed?'" Sorbet says. "Signaling is all about ways women can give feedback and guide partners to touch them in the ways that feel the most pleasurable."

And when it comes to pleasure, communicating with your partner, either through signaling or words, is essential.

Because OMGyes focuses more on pleasure than orgasm, it's a testament to just how fun and exciting the journey can be. Orgasm doesn't have to be the end goal. In fact, when you stop making an orgasm the priority, the pressure is taken out of the equation and pleasure becomes front and center.


Naomi Sorbet, manager of content research, OMGyes and For Goodness Sake

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