Chances are, when you're having sex, you want to orgasm — and who could blame you? But often, postponing your pleasure makes it that much more enjoyable, which is the concept behind practicing orgasm denial. As they say, good things come to those who wait (and that pun was absolutely intended).
"Orgasm denial is often practiced as BDSM, and it involves maintaining arousal without allowing orgasm to follow," Astroglide's resident sexologist Dr. Jess O'Reilly, tells Bustle. "Oftentimes, a dominant partner will stimulate their submissive partner to high levels of arousal — even to the brink of orgasm — and then change things up, slow down, or stop to inhibit orgasm."
This can be done with partners of any gender, Laurie Mintz, PhD, sex therapist and author of Becoming Cliterate, tells Bustle. "It is often best with a partner you know well so you know their signs of arousal and how to best get them there," she says. "On the other hand, the submissive can simply communicate when they are close to orgasm — making it more accessible to newer partners."
Reasons you might want to try orgasm denial include wanting to engage in power play, wanting to have sex for longer than usual, wanting to better enjoy the stages of arousal before orgasm, and wanting to make orgasms more intense. There are actually a number of different ways to engage in orgasm denial. Here are a few methods you can try.