13 Awkward Sex Stories That'll Put Your Most Embarrassing Moment To Shame
There can be plenty of awkward moments during sex. In a way, that's what's so great about sex. Sure it can feel very serious and in the moment, but things go wrong all the time. Somebody slips or farts or makes a weird noise — and you learn to just laugh it up. I've straight up fallen off of the bed and managed to accidentally knee my partner in some very painful places, but we just ended up in fits of laughter. That's the real intimacy of the situation.
But sometimes, the awkwardness is just beyond. And that's exactly what this AskReddit thread shows. People opened up with their most awkward sexual stories and, guys, it's way worse than I thought it could ever be. I thought that the worst that would happen is that someone would walk in on you or you'd call someone the wrong name. These stories are so, so much worse. We've got poop, we've got vomit, and we've got dogs making appearances in places you would never want to see dogs. It may make you breathe a huge sigh of relief, because there's a good chance that your awkward moments will have nothing on these.
Want to see how uncomfortable things can get? Here were the most awkward of the stories:
1. This Tragic Duo
I mean, this is pretty amazing. Both of them are completely cringe-worthy, but the idea of laying there with a condom under your boxers is a personal favorite.
2. Family Vacation Gone Wrong
I don't know how the vacation could ever bounce back from that. But what we really learn from this is never, ever, ever go skiing. It's just the worst.
3. Sign, Sealed Delivered
THE PEOPLE AT THE BANK DID NOTHING TO YOU. NOTHING. HOW THE HELL DID THIS HAPPEN!? I'm still coming to terms with this one.
4. An Unexpected Guest Star
But... but did you keep going? Where did the dog go? I feel like this brings up a lot of questions.
5. Gold Showers
I want to know what constitutes 'particularly active sex', but it sounds like they had an amazing time.
6. The Ultimate Nightmare
Broken penises are real. There should be an awareness group. Please be careful out there, people.
7. A Shotgun Blast To The Face
Now, period sex can be sexy as hell. But I can see how an unexpected face of blood could really send a shock to the system. On the other hand, it makes a great zombie Halloween costume.
8. The Family Fun
OK, getting walked on is always awkward, but there's something especially awkward about getting caught doing it up against the damn fridge. Come on, guys. Think it through — everyone goes to the fridge.
9. All Of The Things
That is an emotional — and physical — rollercoaster. And, may I just add, it's another example of why shower sex is a total scam. But "dripping wet, vomiting semen and farting" may be the worst phrase I've ever heard.
10. Fractured A Rib
This is why we don't whip women's legs around during sex like we're effing flexi-Barbies. Seriously, for some reason in the bedroom people start treating us like we're in Cirque de Soleil. We are mere mortals.
11. A Pitbull Appearances
The idea of a wet dog nose on someone's balls is probably the most sickening thought I've ever had. If they managed to keep on going, they are stronger people than I am.
12. WHAT KIND OF ROMANCE IS THIS?
I mean... if this is the most romantic thing you can think of the you need to do some serious soul searching. Have you ever heard of flowers, dude?
13. A Face Full Of Fun
There are a lot of fluids involved in sex. A lot of different fluids. Sometimes, the unexpected ones make any appearance.
Sex can be awkward — really effing awkward. And as this list shows, sometimes it goes beyond normal levels into pretty disturbing territory. So next time you stumble during sex, don't worry about it, because there has been so, so much worse.