15 Life Lessons All ‘90s Kids Know To Be True
Certain rules I learned as just a child have stuck with me well into adulthood — like how stretchy stirrup pants are acceptable for every occasion, M.A.S.H. is an appropriate way to make all major decisions, and many other life lessons all '90s kids know to be true. The '90s were an era before the internet and technology became what they are today. We couldn't ask Siri anything or simply Google it on our smartphones. We didn't have a world of information instantly available at our fingertips. We had to learn everything the hard way — but you can bet we never forgot it.
For example, I remember getting braces and trying to each a peanut butter and jelly sandwich at school the next day. Bad idea. Never again. I remember my first pair of platform shoes, because I wanted to be the sixth member of the Spice Girls. I also remember falling in them not long after. I remember begging for a Super Soaker, and then crying when it was used against me. You can't Google this stuff, people.
If you were anything like me growing up, there were life lessons from the '90s you probably still think about today. These are just a few of them.
1. Fake Piercings Are Real Until Someone Notices Otherwise
It's like the tree that fell down in the forest that no one heard.
2. SunnyD Counts As A Fruit Serving
3. You're Never Too Old For Talking Animal Movies
The Land Before Time and Homeward Bound belong in everyone's VHS collection, regardless of age. Or regardless of whether you still have a VCR.
4. If Anyone Says They Can Understand Everything Eminem Is Saying, They're Lying
"My English teacher wanted to flunk me in junior high!... Something, something, something, something... 35!"
5. Tamagotchis Have Feelings, Too
And owning one is a serious responsibility.
6. Don't Let Anyone Tell You That Fanny Packs Aren't Cool
They're both practical and stylish. Respect the pack.
7. Any Problem Can Be Solved With A Cootie Catcher
Your future job, car, home, spouse. Get me a piece of paper and a pencil and we'll get this ball rolling.
8. Ring Pops Are Jewelry
And thus are acceptable to propose with.
9. The First Rule Of Sleepovers: We Don't Talk About Sleepovers
Whatever happens during these slumber parties stays in the vault. No exceptions.
10. Mark-Paul Gosselaar Is Perfection
Even now. He never stopped being beautiful. Darn you, Zack Morris!
11. Caboodles Are Appropriate For Whatever Can Fit Inside
Makeup, nail polish, hair accessories, Polly Pocket, you name it.
12. It's OK To Cry
Particularly during the scene where Simba's dad dies, because it's REALLY EMOTIONAL, OK?
13. If You Need Guidance, Just Ask Zandar
Or a Magic 8-Ball. Both have a high success rate. This is science.
14. You Can Eat Cookies For Breakfast
As well as marshmallows, mini French toast, and sprinkles.
15. There Is No Shame In Being Able To Quote The Entirety Of 'Clueless'
Let's be honest: This movie was the '90s.