When we were kids in the '90s, every small event had the potential to be the greatest moment of our lives or the worst thing to ever happen to us. In fact, there were quite a few things that made you lose faith in humanity in the '90s, because we all remember how bent out of shape we got over missing a rerun of our favorite TV show or learning that Contempo Casuals had been bought out.
I guess that's part of being a kid. When it's good, it's awesome. When it's bad, it's the end of the world and a stage 10 meltdown. I distinctly remember having a full-blown temper tantrum when all of my friends got proposed to with Ring Pops and I didn't, even though when we played MASH, it totally said I was going to get married and live in a mansion. But whatever.
It's hard to wrap our minds around it now; because as responsible, level-headed adults (yeah right), we roll with the punches and don't get worked up over much. But if this were the '90s, and we were hyper-sensitive kids again, these 15 things would probably mean that our lives were over.
1Major Celeb Break-Ups
If they can't make it, there's no hope for the rest of us.
2Or When A Celeb Crush Officially Went Off The Market
But my cootie catcher told me he'd marry ME.
3A Dried Out Milky Pen In The Middle Of Writing A Note To Your BFF
Now Monica will never know that I played Seven Minutes In Heaven with Daniel.
4When The Led In Your Mechanical Pencil Kept Breaking
Everyone get away from me before I lose it.
5Substitute Teachers Who Actually Taught
What do they think this is, school?
6When You Expected A Snow Day And Didn't Get One
Eat my shorts, weatherperson!
7Dial-Up Internet That Took Forever
Like, how am I supposed to talk to my posse on AIM?
8A Ball Of Dried Up Play-Doh
And what am I supposed to do with this?
9Stepping On A Lego
Will the pain ever go away?
10When Your Sky Dancer Stopped Dancing
She'd sort of just... tip over, and that was it.
11When You Finished Eating All The Marshmallows In Your Cereal
Now what? Am I supposed to eat the little brown pieces?
12When Your Ouch! Bubble Gum Lost Its Flavor
It started out so fruity and ended so sad.
13A Scratched Spice Girls CD
"If you wanna be my lover — lover — lover — lover — lover..."
14Blurry Pictures From Your Disposable Camera
Or a thumb in the frame. Or not enough lighting. Or too much lighting.