Childhood can be a confusing, embarrassing, and strange time for most of us. And all of the weird '90s crushes you had are the ultimate proof of that fact. Let's be honest with ourselves. There are strange crushes you had on fictional characters that now, as an adult, make you question everything. Not just about yourself and your own identity, but also about the world in general. For whatever reason, '90s movies, TV shows, and music were a hotbed of strange characters who made for the strangest childhood crushes imaginable... not that that stopped any of us.
As you might expect, many of these crushes are cartoon characters, which is a bizarre enough basis for a swoon in and of itself. But adding to those feelings are when those cartoon characters were animals, objects, or even ghosts. No, seriously. These crushes aren't any easier to bear when they're based on non-animated characters, however. Some of them are based on actual human characters,and legit real life people, yes, but it doesn't make our strange childhood attraction to them any easier.
Below are the weird crushes that you didn't dare to admit to anyone else in the '90s. Not even to your closest friends, and definitely not to your parents. But now's the time to admit that they happened. Now's the time to question our childhoods. Now's the time to let the truth free.
1Simba ('The Lion King')
He had a green, rubbery face and rocked the most ridiculous wardrobe, but somehow The Mask was a horrifying dreamboat. Even though Stanley Ipkiss (his mask-free alter ego) was not.
3Gaston ('Beauty And The Beast')
Gaston was a total jerk. Plus, he was supposed to be so gross that his lack of appeal made Belle run for the hills. Yet something about him gave you butterflies that you just couldn't.
4Evil Ernest ('Ernest Goes To Jail')
Ernest was never, and will never, be a pin-up for young women. But when an evil criminal took over Ernest's identity in Ernest Goes To Jail? That made for one confusing crush.
5Lola Bunny ('Space Jam')
How is it even possible that a bunny rabbit could be this attractive? No matter how you identify, you can't deny that Lola Bunny gave you some strong feelings that remain completely bewildering.
6Brian Krakow ('My So Called Life')
There was nothing particularly weird about liking Brian, but when the rest of your friends were losing their minds over Jordan Catalano and you were still shipping Angela and the insufferable nerd next door? Well, you start to doubt yourself.
7Trent Lane ('Daria')
We all thought that we'd grown out of our capacity to develop colossal crushes on cartoon characters. But then Trent happened and my goodness.
8Jonathon Turner ('Boy Meets World')
Shaun Hunter's teacher and eventual guardian rocked a mullet and hoop earring combo that was so '90s. As a result, he gave you one of the weirdest TV crushes.
9Jon Bon Jovi
This was weird because, all of a sudden, both you and your mom had a crush on the same guy and nope.
10Xena ('Xena: Warrior Princess')
For many young women, Xena provided a glorious queer awakening that led to questions about whether or not sword wielding warrior women were the only people we could love now.
He was a ghost. And, yes, he might have been revealed to look like Devon Sawa as a living boy, but admit it — you totally crushed on him as a paranormal entity, too.
12Edward Furlong ('Terminator 2')
Not only were you not supposed to have seen Terminator 2 as a child, but you also weren't supposed to get all gooey over juvenile criminal John Connor. It was the moment you realized that bad boys were hot, and there was no turning back from that.
13Spike ('Buffy The Vampire Slayer')
The evolution of your bad boy fixation inevitably led to Spike, the peroxide punk who regularly tried to hurt, or murder, all of your Buffy faves.
14Catalina ('Space Cases')
The Nickelodeon show had plenty of crush-worthy characters, but rainbow haired Catalina (played by a young Jewel Staite) was the one who won many of our hearts.
15Donatello ('Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles')
Though all of the Turtles were unfortunately crush-worthy in their own right, it was Donatello who was admittedly the dreamiest. It's a troubling crush that continues to haunt many of us to this day.
16Robin ('Batman Forever' & 'Batman & Robin')
Considering he was wearing a superhero suit with the most pronounced nipple and crotch sections in cinematic history, Chris O'Donnell's portrayal of Robin provided a distressing sexual awakening that many of us weren't ready for.
17Luigi Mario ('Super Mario Bros.')
It might have been the boiler-suit or the backwards cap (so edgy), but live-action Luigi was kind of hot to many '90s kids. Which made playing video-game Luigi with our friends and siblings feel weird afterwards.
18Beast ('Beauty And The Beast')
Forget your weird childhood fascination. There are still some people who think that the Beast was hotter as the Beast than he was as Prince Adam, and that's... yeah.
One of the great things about growing up and getting older is being able to face up to all of the weird stuff we did when we growing up. And these weird crushes? It's time to confess to them and move on, folks.