Valentine's Day: A day for love, a day for romance, and most definitely a day for witches and aspiring witches everywhere do some magical Valentine's Day candle rituals. Of course, we could always kick back and leave our Valentine's Day fate up to chance. Or fully entrust ourselves to the wisdom of astrology, which has given 2019's V-Day outlook mixed reviews at best. Or — and you'll like this option best — we can take matters into our own magical lil' hands and give love your best shot via a fun and magical-as-hell candle burning ritual.
Using candle magic is super on point for Valentine's Day rituals, as we all want a love that's hot, passionate, and fiery — and the flame of a candle is the perfect elemental representation of a deep and passionate love. The rituals I've described below all use simple pillar or taper candles in either pink, red, or white (pink representing love, romance, and compassion; red representing passion and action; and white representing purity and honesty), which should be relatively easy to find. There are also plenty of pre-made ritual candles out there if you're trying to keep it simple and simply light something up quickly, like this sex ritual candle that's sprinkled with herbs, or this 7-day burning "come-to-me" love spell candle.
But remember, though: With great witchy power comes great witchy responsibility! Love spells are indeed fun, but we don't want to attempt to force our will on anyone else, right? Use your energy work for attracting good energy toward yourself and others without attempting to "control" other people when it comes to love. Trusting that the universe will hear your call and show you the best path is the most high-vibe way to go, if you ask me.
Whether you're in a relationship, looking for love, or happily single, here are three candle rituals that are perfect for loading up your energetic space with sweet, loving vibes this Valentine's Day.
1. A Valentine's Day Self-Love Spell
What more significant love affair does one have than with one's self?! This spell is inspired by a lovely ritual published on The Hoodwitch that was created by Michael Cardenas, head witch at Olde Ways. It can help you take back your personal power and show deep compassion for the most important person in your life: You!
What you'll need: One pink candle; a rose quartz crystal; some flowers of your choice; an essential oil of your choice (optional).
What to do: Begin the ritual by grounding yourself and cleansing your work space. Hold the flowers in your hands, which represent beauty and growth. Think about your intentions as they relate to self-love, confidence, and compassion toward yourself. "Hold the flowers to your heart and set your intention to reclaim your personal power and increase self-love," instructed Cardenas. Set the flowers on your altar as an offering to the Goddess.
Now, carve your name into your pink candle (along with a heart or any other symbols that represent love and compassion for you), and anoint it with your essential oil of choice, if using. Light the candle, and hold the rose quartz crystal in your hands as your eyes gaze into the flame. Focus deeply on your intention, boiling it down into a single sentence that you repeat in your mind over and over again as a mantra. Feel the buzzing energy of the rose quartz in your hands — it's infusing you with its energy to amplify your intention!
Once you feel clear and confident in your intention and have connected with the energy of both the flame and the crystal, you can feel free to put a drop of essential oil on your tongue (if using), but ONLY if it is labeled safe for oral consumption. Then, say the following affirmation aloud, as written by Cardenas:
"I call back my energy / I call back my essence / I call back my power / I call back my trust / I call back my ability to love fully / I love myself / I am worthy / I am safe / I am in alignment / I am loved / For the highest good, so be it."
If needed, repeat the affirmation multiple times — it's most effective when you truly believe what you're saying, and sometimes that takes a few rounds! Once you've finished, place the rose quartz on your altar next to the burning candle, and allow the flame to safely burn down.
2. A Heart-Opening Valentine Spell To Attract New Love
Single and mingling? Heartbroken and trying to get back on the dating train? Open your heart to love this Valentine's Day, and send your devotion to doing so into the ether using a Valentine's Day love-attracting spell. This one is based on a ritual created by spiritual author Barbara Bizio.
What you'll need: A red or pink candle; dried rose petals; a small rose quartz crystal; cinnamon; dried ginger; and dried rosemary; a small drawstring pouch or satchel.
What to do: Begin the ritual by cleansing your space and creating a gentle, romantic ambiance — this might include putting on some soft, mood-setting romantic music, or diffusing a feminine and sexy essential oil fragrance, like jasmine. You definitely want to feel Goddess-like during this ritual, as you're manifesting love, after all!
Now, place your candle in a fire-safe holder and lay your crystal, petals, herbs, and satchel out in front of you. Sit in a comfortable position, close your eyes, and begin thinking about the all the qualities you're seeking in a loving, trusting, fulfilling romantic partnership with someone. This should include all different qualities you desire in a partner and a relationship that meets your needs — including emotional, physical, sexual, intellectual, etc. Let go of any negative thoughts that attempt to intrude — rather than feeling frustrated that you don't currently have this love in your life, focus exclusively on the feeling of joy and satisfaction that it will bring you once you do have these things. Be highly specific in the qualities, feelings, and attributes that you focus on, but do your best not to direct your energy and intention toward an individual person. This ritual is about allowing the universe to connect you with the right person rather than trying to make a person in your life fall in love with you.
With these qualities swirling around in your head, light your candle, holding them clearly in your thoughts and infusing the flame with your intention to invite this particular type of love into your life. As the candle burns, it will send this desire into the universe to become reality.
Once the candle is lit, it's time to put together your love charm. You'll want to place your crystal, petals, and herbs into your satches, item by item, while speaking your hopes for a future relationship aloud. According to Bizio, "[T]he rose quartz [is] to signify your receptive heart; the ginger, rosemary and cinnamon to assure love and prosperity; and finally, the rose petals to encourage new love." Seal your satchel and hold it in your hands as you gaze into the flame, focusing still on your intentions. Allow the candle to safely burn down.
3. A Valentine Spell To Strengthen A Relationship
If you're in a committed relationship (and even if there's some trouble in paradise), doing a joint spell with your partner is a beautiful way to show your devotion to each other, honor your love, and celebrate the special day. This spell is based upon a ritual created by occult practitioner Cassandra Eason and is designed to bring you closer to your partner and celebrate your commitment.
What you'll need: One large white pillar candle; two smaller white candles.
What to do: Prepare for the ritual by having yourself and your significant other each carve your names into one of the two smaller white candles. On the large white candle, you should carve both of your names, one on top of the other, and then carve a circle around the two names together.
Once your candles are prepared, cleanse your ritual space and sit facing one another, with your spread of candles between you in fire-safe holders. Begin by having one partner light the small candle that they have carved their own name into. According to Eason, say the following aloud: "These are the gifts I promise you in our life together, in good times and bad," — and then say aloud the commitments you would like to make in your relationship, as well as the ways you'd like to grow, support, and help each other. Once finished, have the other partner repeat the same process.
Now, simultaneously pick up your small white candles and bring the flames together in unison to light the wick of the large white pillar candle, and set the smaller ones back down again. Over the flame of the large candle (which should be carved with both your names together, encircled), have one partner say aloud, "These are the qualities I value most in you in our life together, in good times and bad," as is instructed by Eason, and then say aloud all of the things they value and cherish most about their partner. Once finished, have the other partner repeat that process themselves.
To close the ritual, each partner should blow out the small white candle that has their name on it and then say aloud: "I am not separate but willingly united with you in love and fidelity, in trust and in harmony," writes Eason. "Henceforth we two are one and so I renew my vows on this night of lovers young and old." Allow the large white pillar candle to safely burn down.