Valentine's Day Is Going To Be Rocky For All Zodiac Signs — Here's What To Expect

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Dear friends, I write to you today with joyful albeit shocking news: A tiny miracle of sorts is taking place, and that miracle is the fact that there are literally zero planetary retrogrades happening on Valentine's Day 2019. Like, literally none. I know, we're shocked. Are you still breathing? Do you still have a pulse? It makes plenty of sense to be taken aback by this news, considering 2018 kindly blessed evilly cursed us with hot mess of retrogrades and virtually no holidays without one. We legitimately went through the astrological ringer last year, guys, so we're all pretty retrograded out (and yeah, maybe a little traumatized, too).

However, while it's worth taking the time to bask in the glory of a Valetine's Day free of retro-drama — Mercury Rx isn't swooping in to completely screw you out of a romantic dinner reservation, Venus Rx isn't randomly dumping the contents of your love life into a storm drain, and good ol' Saturn Rx isn't forcing us to glumly and harshly re-evaulate our lives and critically analyze our relationships — that doesn't mean we're totally in the clear.

Yeah. Did you think you were getting out of this thing astrologically unscathed? Haha! Not quite, sister. On Feb. 13, the very day before Valentine's Day, Mars (planet of sex, war, and masculinity) will be in its home sign of Aries, and will find itself in harsh aspect to Uranus (planet of sudden changes, shocks, the unexpected) — and this could cause some major rage-filled drama to unfold.

In Llewellyn's 2019 Daily Planetary Guide, author Pam Ciampi described this intense planetary meeting, explaining, "[It] is a very dangerous one because it is chock full of explosive, aggressive, hot-blooded energy with little regard to future consequences and could lead to uprisings and violence." Yikes. Not exactly the hearts-and-flowers Valentine's vibe you're probably seeking. This astrology makes the potential for a volatile day pretty high, so do whatever you can to keep your cool: Meditate, eat lots of candy, make a pact with your significant other to not speak that day in hopes of avoiding a conflict — whatever it takes, dude.

But you're not totally screwed. During the wee hours of Valentine's Day morning, Mars will move out of hot-headed Aries and into the comfort-loving, Venus-ruled sign of Taurus — subsequently leaving behind that little fight with Uranus, and bringing us all onto much more stable ground. This means it's just one terrifying day and one terrifying day only that you'll need to survive in order to attain retrograde-free Valetine's Day bliss. Assuming you haven't burned every potential relationship to ashes on Feb. 13, you'll likely be able to enjoy some gentle and luxurious love n' romance come the big day. Yay!

Word of advice for those of you who will be spending Valentine's Day with your boo: Call on Taurus' grounding energy to keep things down-to-earth, because you don't want to get too carried away. After all, sometimes love can make us do the wacky. "If you're thinking of proposing or accepting a proposal this Valentine's Day, make absolutely sure it's the right choice for you," advised Ciampi. "The volatility of the Mars-Uranus conjunction earlier in the week may have encouraged you to throw caution to the wind and forge ahead regardless of the reality of the situation[.]" In other words, don't dive too deep into some heavy stuff just because you're on a chocolate-and-candy-fueled Valentine's Day high. You may be in a retrograde-free zone, but you'll still need to keep your wits about you when it comes to any major decision making on this particular day.

Anyway, that all said, no one promised Valentine's Day would be a breeze or anything, but it will indeed be free of any planetary retrogrades, so that's at least something to rejoice in, right? Whether you're being mushy with your significant other, going out for drinks with your fellow single ladies, or eating chocolate alone and watching a bad rom-com (no judgement), know that you can look up at the stars come Valentine's Day and pour one out for your planetary homies knowing that they're all stationed direct and moving forward, without a retrograde in sight. At least for now.