Being in a relationship for the right reasons is so important. And though you can control your own reasons, you need to make sure that your partner is doing the right thing, too. If not, you can end up feeling low— or even trapped in a toxic relationship, which is a confusing and difficult place to be.
"'Toxic' is relative perception. In fact, it may be less about having a 'toxic partner' and more about conflicting survival strategies in the wake of broken or inconsistent childhood relationships," Portland-based Lifekey Counseling Jeremy McAllister tells Bustle. "When someone applies opposing strategies, it feels abusive. We have these two basic common extremes in attachment: one side clings and protests while the other withdraws and disengages, and these two attachment styles are like magnets to one another — sometimes intensely drawn, other times repulsed and polarized."
But how do you know if your partner is in the relationship for the right reasons? Well, if they are then it should feel like you're working as a team and taking on life together. And if they're not, things are going to be a whole lot harder. Here are five signs that your partner isn't in the relationship for the right reasons, because you deserve so much better: