Sometimes after you've been dating for a while, you might fall into a Netflix and chill rut (like every night). This can make for less spark or romance, if you're no longer doing fun things together. If there are signs you're not being adventurous with your partner, like always going to the same restaurants or staying in too much, without experiencing new things together, your relationship could suffer in the future. It's possible someone might start to feel unsatisfied, as though life together might seem boring and predictable.
As a certified health coach, I work with clients on feeling happy in their relationship and feeling as though there's still room to be youthful, curious, and experimental. And, the exciting thing (usually) is that your partner can join in on the fun. But, if your partner isn't feeling it, or you're not doing enough things together to keep the relationship interesting and new, it could mean that you're both not putting in the real effort it deserves. To avoid making your relationship go stale (and to stop taking for granted all the good things you have together, from feeling bored or stifled), add in a few silly, romantic, and adventurous activities to do together each week. This will not only remind you both of how well you work together, but also that you are still growing together as a couple. Here are 5 signs you're not being as carefree with your partner as you should be.
1. You're Simply Bored
If you're just kind of over the relationship and the mundane activities you do together, it could cause your relationship to worsen with time, says Stacy Kaiser, Live Happy Editor at large and psychotherapist, over email with Bustle. The second you need to be more fun and wild, go for it, and ask your partner to join in.
2. You're Angry At Them
Kaiser cautions against feeling anger and resentment towards your partner for not being spontaneous or taking initiative in picking adventurous things to do together. If your partner wants to stay home and chill, or go to the same brunch spot each weekend, when you desperately want to go out or try a new omelet, share that desire with him or her and see what happens. It's not your partner's fault, as it's impossible to read minds.
3. Your Sex Life Is The Same
"Intimately speaking, if your sex life is boring, predictable or fading, that's a pretty big sign. If you always do the same thing, the same way, there probably isn't much adventure in it at all," shares dating expert Derek Newton, to Bustle. It's fun to mix things up in bed. Try new positions, new spots (it doesn't always need to be in a bed), and maybe even some role playing or sexual fantasies (as long as they're appropriate and mutually agreed upon).
4. You Don't Take Risks
If you're always playing it safe together, being super practical with expenses, shopping, restaurants, travel plans, and career choices, it might limit opportunities for fun and adventure. Instead, take some risks. Be smart in general, as a unit, regarding money and other big choices, but leave room for some experimentation and playfulness too.
5. You're Tired Of Being Around Them
If you're constantly doing the same things, you might tire of those mundane activities, and of your partner, explains Kaiser. So, that Wednesday night trip to the grocery store or your usual TV show might have made you happy in the past, but now it just seems too typical and old. And, unless you can bring some fun back, you might stop wanting to share that intimate time with your partner.
If you're experiencing these issues in your relationship, it could mean you're lacking the sparkle and novelty. Set a few plans in motion, and see how it goes.