Having group sex for the first time can be a lot to handle — in fact, the number of limbs alone can be really overwhelming. But there are also the emotional and practical considerations to deal with. If it's a casual hookup where nobody is emotionally attached — or a poly relationship where this is an established activity — it'll probably be smooth sailing. But, if you're in a couple, you may need to make sure you're ready for sex with multiple partners.
So how do you do you know if, as a couple, you're ready for a threesome — or a foursome? “It needs to be something they both want,” Charlie Glickman, PhD, sex and relationship coach, and Polly Superstar, the founder of the sex-positive community Mission Control and author of the book Sex Culture Revolutionary, tells Bustle. “I know that sounds obvious, but a lot of couples get into situations where one person wants it a lot more than the other. If you go into a threesome because you want to go along with your partner's desires or if you feel pressured, it's not likely to be a success. Compliance is not the way to go.”
So make sure that everyone is enthusiastic about it. And, crucially, no matter what your relationship status, you need to talk about safe sex. If you're having sex with multiple partners, you need to know what that entails — and it may mean going through a lot of condoms. “You also need to be able to have a safe sex conversation without embarrassment,” Glickman says. “I really recommend this format from Reid Milhalko. Practice it with each other or with a friend before you try it..."
Once you know you're ready — and you're sure you know how to be safe — sex with multiple people can be a lot of fun. Here are some of the best positions with multiple partners, to help you get started.