The Easiest Way To Have A Better Sex Life In 2017

by Courteney Larocca
Ashley Batz for Bustle

New Year's resolutions are supposed to make our lives better in the coming year. And while making positive changes in our professional and personal lives is definitely a good thing, we shouldn't forget about bettering our sex lives. Pleasure is a pretty big component of sex, so making an active decision to put that pleasure first is a great way to make yourself feel good in 2017. There's absolutely no shame in wanting to improve your sex life. While you may already feel that it's pretty great, wanting to try new things or do more of that one thing you really like is just going to make your already great sex life that much more phenomenal.

Thinking critically about what you want in the bedroom will only make sex better. For instance, I've decided that I want to masturbate more in 2017. I can probably count the amount of times I've had sex with myself in 2016 on on one hand, and I kind of feel like I let myself down. I know that loving myself will only make the sex I have with other people better and help me figure out what it is that I really want in bed, so I'm making an active choice to spend more alone time with myself.

No matter what your current sex life is like, wanting to improve things in the bedroom is a totally healthy choice to make. Here are seven resolutions for a better sex life in 2017:

1. Spend More Time Touching

Whether you're in or out of the bedroom, touching your partner is a great way to feel closer to them, which can improve the intimacy when you're both between the sheets. "Touch is connective and you'll carry that feeling you get from your partner the rest of the day," Sarah Mandel, a psychotherapist and licensed clinical social worker, tells Bustle. Making a conscious effort to spend more time touching yourself or your partner can help you feel more connected to one another and your own body.

2. Try New Things

The only way to know if you like something is to try it, so making a resolution to experiment more in the bedroom is a great way to improve your sex life in 2017. "Talk to your partner about trying a new position or a new sex toy as long as you feel comfortable and they feel comfortable," Mandel says. You can also try new techniques or toys by yourself to figure out if there's something new that really gets you going.

3. Build Intimacy Outside Of The Bedroom

Focusing on intimacy with your partner in your daily lives can bring good things to the bedroom. "Kiss each other goodbye in the morning and kiss each other hello when you come home every day," Mandel says. "It's a great way to start your day and your begin your evening with your partner on a positive note."

4. Ask For What You Want

I've always been kind of bad at asking for exactly what I want in bed, which is also something I'm going to work on in 2017 because it really only makes sex better. "Get honest and love yourself enough to take positive steps to fulfill your desires," Audrey Hope, a celebrity relationship expert, tells Bustle. "Stop living in your head and stop letting fear hold you back." The person you're having sex with should want to please you, so choose to not be afraid of asking for what's going to get you there.

5. Love Yourself More

Even if you masturbate way more often than I do, you can still make a resolution to love yourself even more. "Love every part of your body, and pamper yourself," Hope says. I know I'm biased, but it's definitely an awesome resolution, because it's free, it doesn't require anyone else, it'll make sex with a partner better, it can be done on your own schedule, and it feels amazing. Honestly, what more could you want out of a New Year's resolution?

6. Have More Sex

Hey, practice makes perfect. If you want to improve your sex life, making a resolution to have sex more often is a great way to do that. Deciding with your partner about how much sex you both want to have can help improve your sex life since you're actively trying to meet both of your needs. "For the New Year, agree on a range of time in which you both are willing to try and have sex," April Masini, New York based relationship expert and author, tells Bustle. "It can be once a day, once a week, once a month — whatever you agree on, make it happen."

7. Make A Sexual Bucket List

If there's anything you or your partner want to try and haven't yet, making a bucket list and actively working towards finishing it is definitely a way to improve your sex life in 2017. "Opening up this discussion is healthy and can even be informative when you learn of acts you had no idea a partner was interested in," Masini says. "Sharing and supporting each other sexually is a great way to address your sex life and 2017, together."

Prioritizing your pleasure is a great resolution for 2017, and it's not hard to do. By making a resolution to improve things in the bedroom, your sex life will only get better during this next trip around the sun.

Want to have an awesome 2017? Then check out the "You IRL" stream in the Bustle App for tips on how to have the most empowering year yet.