It seems like we often hear that people are not having enough sex, and we're worried about how our own sex lives measure up. But the truth is, it's all about what's best for you, so now's the time to make your sex resolution for the New Year. It's never too late to start having more, less, longer hotter, slower, or whatever kind of sex you want.
But because a lot of us are curious, the renowned Kinsey Institute, which has explored sexual behavior and sexual health for over 60 years, has studied the topic of sex frequency, of course. For instance, according to the General Social Survey, married couples have sex an average of 58 times per year. The study also found that:
18-29-year-olds have sex an average of 112 times per year
30-39-year-olds an average of 86 times per year
40-49-year-olds an average of 69 times per year
So what if you're below or above average? “Averages mean that there are some people above and some people below any given number,” Dr. Fran Walfish, Beverly Hills child, parenting, and relationship psychotherapist, author, The Self-Aware Parent, and co-star, Sex Box, WE tv, tells Bustle “Averages don’t help decide the question of what is right for an individual person.” Exactly! But still — a lot of us wonder how we can improve our sex lives. If you could amend it, what would you change? Frequency? Duration? Type of sex? Try more positions? Role-play?
Oftentimes, people say that conflicts over sex (i.e., if someone’s drive is higher than their partner’s) points to other issues and a lack of connection in the relationship.
“Sex is always a big giveaway,” Dr. Tina B. Tessina, PhD (aka "Dr. Romance"), tells Bustle. “If you're having trouble with sex, either you're dissatisfied and don't get enough, you feel your partner wants too much, or the sex is fading out of your relationship, it's a sign that your communication has problems. Sex is just a physical form of communication.”