It's no secret that dating today is tough. When you're serious about finding a solid relationship, there's nothing more annoying than realizing almost everyone you meet isn't long-term relationship material. There are so many different factors that go into the type of people you attract into your life. But if you really want a solid, committed relationship, experts say there are certain
personality traits that are more likely to attract long-term partners.
According to Jane Reardon, licensed therapist and founder of
RxBreakup, showing humor and honesty not only attracts people to you, but can help you attract people looking for long-term relationships.
"Most people want a partner who is entertaining and fun. Humor also helps couples to
diffuse conflict or tension during disagreements," Reardon tells Bustle. "Honest people are generally true to their feelings and opinions." According to her, honest people allow themselves to recognize their faults and weaknesses. They're also able to take responsibility for their own actions. Who doesn't want that in a long-term partner?
Honesty and humor are great traits to have if
you want to attract the right person into your life. But that's not all. So here are some other important personality traits that make people more likely to meet long-term partners, according to experts.
It shouldn't surprise you that
people who are emotionally unstable, frequently moody, irritable or manic, tend to have difficulties in romantic relationships. "Emotional instability leads to chaotic, intense relationships that tend to be defined by conflict," psychotherapist Emily Mendez, M.S. EdS, tells Bustle. But when both partners are emotionally stable, they can solve conflict and communicate their needs much better with each other. "They also tend to cope with difficulties in the relationship in a much healthier way that leads to a more stable relationship," she says.
A 2014 study published in the journal
, found a link between positive personality traits and perceived attractiveness. People who display traits such as kindness and honesty were found to be more attractive than those who had more negative personalities. "There is just something attractive about someone who can go out of their way to show kindness to others," relationship therapist, Personality and Individual Differences Alisha Powell, PhD, LCSW, tells Bustle. "While it doesn’t have to be a grand gesture, the thoughtfulness displayed is very appealing. Something as simple as opening a door or giving a compliment to a stressed out waiter can go a long way in making one more attractive."
"The ability to take everything in a stride and to pace oneself is an attractive quality," Dr. Powell says. When you've been single for so long, it's easy to get so caught up in wanting to progress things so quickly with someone new in order to get that commitment. But good things take time. If you want to attract a partner who's in it for the long-haul, patience is key. "It's important to recognizing the bigger picture and not stress out the small stuff," she says. "A partner who can do this is very attractive because it means that they can be level-headed and resourceful."
You've probably heard the phrase, "
like attracts like." If you apply it to love, it basically means you attract people into your life that are similar to you. Loyalty and trust are important to have in a long-term relationship. That's why Kac Young, PhD, ND, DCH, counselor and author of tells Bustle, you need to be a loyal person if you want to attract a loyal person. 21 Days to the Love of Your Life,
As Mendez says, a partner who is responsive tends to be more giving and sensitive. "This trait can lead to more satisfaction in the relationship," she says. Someone who's responsive is open to love. They know how to accept it and express it. If you want to attract a long-term partner, be responsive. It's hard to form a relationship with someone who's closed off to love and affection. So be open to the possibilities.
It's pretty much a given that whoever you enter into a relationship with will come with some kind of emotional baggage. Chances are, you will too. That's why Dr. Powell says being a self-aware person is important. "Someone who is self-aware of themselves knows what kind of baggage they have," she says. "They are able to recognize their triggers for becoming frustrated or withdrawing and they are able to talk about them in a healthy and grown-up way." When you're self-aware, it's easier for you to recognize why you keep dating the same type of people over and over again, and make changes in order to have a more successful love life.
It's no secret that
being confident is one of the most attractive personality traits you can have. So it's no wonder why Dr. Young says, confident people have a better chance of attracting long-term partners. "These people feel good about who they are and won't need constant reinforcement," she says. "They know how to take care of themselves and won't need their partner to mother them."
If you want to attract a good partner who's long-term relationship material, it's important to possess the qualities you seek. For instance, it's hard to be with someone who's so negative all the time when you try your best to see the positive side of things. Fortunately, none of the above traits require anything more than being a decent, self-aware human being. If you're kind, loyal, and truly receptive to love, you can find an amazing partner to match.