For many people,
finding "The One" is pretty close to the top of their list of priorities. In a society that puts such emphasis on love and being in a relationship, it's hard to escape the pressures of not just feeling like you "should" couple up, but "should" be coupled up with your absolute soulmate. But how do we even know when we've met "The One?" It's not as though they show up at our door with a neon sign flashing over their head. Also, is there really only one person — out of the 7.6 billion people in the world — for you? If so, then we really have our work cut out for us, if we want to find them.
"For most of us we have multiple soulmates in one lifetime that are brought into our lives for learning and healing,"
Natalie Miles, psychic medium and spiritual guide, tells Bustle. "So it doesn’t matter if you’re with someone for three weeks, three months, three years or 30 years, you were supposed to experience that special deep soul connection with them for that time frame."
But if you have your heart set on meeting "The One," whether it's for the short-term or the long-term, these six tips will help bring them into your life, according to Miles.
1 Put Yourself First
According to Miles, your mantra should always be, "I CHOOSE ME" — and, yes, it should be in all caps so you can't possibly forget it. Hell, in your mind, even bold it and cover it with sparkles so there's no way you can lose
this very important thought among all the other thoughts in your head.
"This mantra given to me by my Spirit Guides [spiritual entities assigned to look after us] has led to a truer connection with myself and in turn helped me find a soul partner. 'I choose me' isn’t being selfish," says Miles. "It’s about when you put yourself first, you’re going to become aligned and connected to who you are and what you love. You’re vibrating at your highest frequency so you attract what matches you."
2 Let Yourself Be Picky
In her own dating life, Miles found that choosing herself and putting herself first worked wonders. It was a technique that
empowered her and gave her the strength to not settle or side step red flags.
"I stopped worrying if they were going to reply or not, even if their profile looked 'perfect' and 'this could be it'," says Miles. "On dates, I realized very quickly if it was going to work or not, instead of trying to make it fit as they could have potential. I got picky in a good way, as I was finally being authentic to me."
3 Don't Put So Much Pressure On "The One"
As Miles says, as much as you may want there to be just one, and only one person for you, it's both unrealistic and even unfair to you. Holding out for "The One," putting pressure on finding "The One," and not budging in these stances will get you nowhere. You need to subtract the pressure from the equation, take a breather, and,
bring that focus back to you. 4 Manifest Your Match
If you truly believe the Universe is listening, then it's important to trust that the choices and decisions you make, as well as
the energy you put out there will not just make an impact that echoes, but will manifest itself into something. If you believe in self-fulfilling prophecies, then this tip is definitely up your alley.
"Write down the emotions/feelings you want to feel in your dream relationship," says Miles. "It’s really important that we do this, as we can focus on what 'The One' looks like or has in their life instead of what it feels like. Bring it back to the emotions. How do you want to feel with this person? What values do they have?"
5 5. Work With Your Spirit Guides
If you've yet to work with your Spirit Guides, then it's something to consider if you want to
attract "The One," because your Spirit Guides, according to Miles, don't just want you to find that connection, but they're basically your own private cheering squad that wants nothing more than for you to find love.
"We can work with them to send us the signs and messages on who to date and who to stay away from," say Miles. "Firstly, ask your Guides to step forward. The best way to do this: take five minutes somewhere quiet, shut your eyes, and say in your head or out loud 'I am ready to work with you. Please step forward. I would like to receive your messages and guidance.' You will begin to feel their presence and just notice any feelings, sensations in or around your body."
It's important to have an open heart to pull this off successfully. While there's nothing wrong with skepticism sometimes, in moments like this, you need your heart to be open and clear, so it can accept what your Spirit Guides have to offer.
6 Make It A Practice To Turn To Your Spirit Guides
"The next time you go on a dating app and you’re swiping away," says Miles, "call in your Guides first. Ask them for their assistance. When you land on a profile that interests you, breathe the energy in of that person. See how it feels in your body. And ask your Guides, 'Show me yes or show me no.' If it’s a yes, your body will feel like a 'Hell Yes;' the energy will feel buzzy and tingly. If it’s a no, you will feel the contrast — it will feel cold and heavy. Trust the messages you’re receiving. Our Guides want us to use our intuition and not have to go on those first dates we’d rather forget!"
While this isn't the only way to attract "The One," the persistent theme when wanting to attract love, no matter which route you choose, is openness. You never know when your opportunity for your next great love will arrive — and your open heart will help get you there.