Relationships can be confusing. One second, you're totally head-over-heels in love, and then fast-forward a few months, and you don't even recognize the person you're with anymore. You may know in your heart that your partner isn't your destined soulmate. But, weirdly enough, it turns out there may actually be physical signs your body is telling you
your partner isn't "The One."
And while every relationship has its own issues and complications, there are sometimes tell-tale signs you
feel in your gut that you just can't shake off. And surprisingly, your body will pick up on them, too.
"Relationships can be tricky because the fact that you are in a relationship means that at some point it started off really great,"
life coach Claire Pearson, tells Bustle. "You would never enter into a relationship with someone who instantly set-off alarm bells. So here you are, in a relationship that isn't feeling right but you can't put your finger on it. This is where listening to you body becomes a fabulous tool."
In other words, there is tremendous power in listening to your body and how you feel physically. It's possible that your ailments, aches, and pains can all be attributed to your relationship, and if you should be
second-guessing being with your partner.
Here are seven physical signs that your body is telling you your partner may not be "The One," according to experts.
Your Fingers And Toes Twitch
Feeling like your fingers and toes are twitching when you see your partner, even slightly? It may be worth paying closer attention to. "When we are nervous around someone, we pace because we're really hoping to find an exit,"
certified relationship coach Chris Armstrong, tells Bustle. "Sometimes, however, our fingers and toes can pace while our body is in place. This pacing looks like twitching or shaking but it can happen so fast or so often that it feels like it is just a part of our body movement routine,"
According to Armstrong, the "twitching" doesn't necessarily indicate fear alone. It can also indicate anxiety that you may be wasting your precious time on the wrong person. For example, you may notice the your fingers and toes doing this when your partner walks in the room, if you're having an intimate conversation, or talking about the future. Pay attention to the way your body reacts when you see them.
You Have A Sore Throat Or You Lose Your Voice
Lisa Concepcion, Founder of Love Quest Coaching, this has to do with your throat chakras being blocked. According to Concepcion, there are seven types of chakras, which are core areas of our bodies where energy flows through.
"When you have random sore throats, nagging coughs especially when together or when sleeping together, it's a sign your [throat chakras] are blocked," Concepcion says. "Explore if this happens around other people too or only your partner."
For example, Concepcion says, perhaps you're coughing around your partner because there's something you're not telling them, or there's something that you're going through or experiencing that you aren't ready to come to terms with or face.
Pay attention to your headaches: Sometimes, they can mean more than just a simple annoyance. "A lot of people in relationships that aren't working for them anymore are experiencing low level tension throughout their day — which comes out as tension headaches," Pearson says.
Think of the headache as a message from your body, and don't ignore it, especially if it happens frequently. It's possible that the headaches could correlate with whatever stress, concern, or "tightness" you're feeling, that then spreads to the body.
"When you're with your significant other and feel a pain in the temple or behind your eye up to your head, pay attention to this," Concepcion says. "If you're fine all day and then just as you're about to be together you feel a dull headache come over you, there's a message your body is sending."
Your Shoulders Are Slouched
Slouched shoulders could be hard to notice, but it's certainly a telling sign that something is off. "Slouched shoulders are a clear sign of our body telling us that we are not overly excited about this relationship," Armstrong says.
Typically, when someone slouches their shoulders, it means they may feel defeated. "When we are in relationships and we can feel that they are not right, that the chemistry is not there, this is a common but not talked about physical reaction," Armstrong says.
"If you pay attention to your the gestures, facial expressions, and posture you adopt when you’re with someone, you’ll get a good idea of whether or not you think they’re the right person for you on an unconscious level,"
relationship expert Demetrius Figueroa, tells Bustle.
You Have Shortness of Breath
Sometimes, shortness of breath can be totally random or expected (for example, if you're working out or you're stressed for whatever reason). However, sometimes shortness of breath can be a signal from the body telling us to slow down, especially if you've
rushed into a new relationship too quickly.
"When people rush into new relationships before they heal fully from prior relationships they may experience shortness of breath or tightness in their chest. It's as if their emotions are trapped in their hearts," Concepcion says.
However, if you're noticing the shortness of breath isn't getting better, and you're still feeling overwhelmed, Concepcion suggests trying acupuncture to shift and release the built-up energy.
It may sound bizarre, but there's actually scientific proof that couples who fight often and are hostile with each other are more likely to suffer from leaky gut. According to
a study conducted by The Ohio State University, there is a strong link between hostility and LBP (lipopolysaccharide binding protein) , a biomarker that indicates bacteria in the blood. What's more, LBP and inflammation are strongly linked together.
The Ohio State study proved that couples with the highest LBP had 79 percent higher levels of C-reactive protein (the primary biomarker of inflammation) than those with the lowest amount of LBP. In other words, it was discovered that couples who fought more and were hostile towards each other are more likely to have a leaky gut.
You Have a Pit In Your Stomach That Won't Go Away
Everyone knows that feeling when you're nervous and it feels like your stomach just dropped (and not in the fun way like it does when you're on a roller coaster).
"If you ignore that pit in your stomach you may be keeping yourself in a relationship that you were never meant to be in,"
Miranda N. Dennis LCSW, DBTC, tells Bustle.
relationship therapist Dr. Gary Brown, the pit in your stomach is "a feeling of nervousness — dread — maybe even a feeling of hopelessness — or feeling turned off."
And while not every ailment you face will be a sign of a relationship gone wrong, it's important to listen to your body and pay attention to your symptoms. If you notice that these symptoms continue to occur, especially when you're around your partner, it may be time to
re-think the relationship and listen to your body.