7 Things Your Partner Is Doing Now That Means They May Eventually Fall Out Of Love
Unfortunately, we can't really predict whether a relationship will last or if it's doomed to fail. But there are signs you can look out for if you already have reason to believe your partner is growing distant. According to experts, pay attention to your partner's behaviors — there are some things your partner may be doing now that indicates they may fall out of love eventually.
As Brian Jory, PhD, author of Cupid On Trial — What We Learn About Love When Loving Gets Tough, tells Bustle, people who tend to fall out of love have a propensity for risk-taking.
"Genetic research has found that some of us are wired for risk and exploration while others lean in the direction of security, predictability and safety," Dr. Jory says. "Risk-takers often view relationships as adventures. They'll want to see how far they can take a relationship, push a relationship to the brink and then put it away [...when they've] grown bored with when it doesn’t live up to their expectations." Of course this isn't the case for everyone, but something to take note of.
If you have reason to worry that things may sour quickly, one way to tell is to learn about their past relationship habits. "Learning of past relationship habits like falling in and out of love quickly may be a worrisome sign that a relationship won't last," psychotherapist and relationship expert, Laura Dabney, M.D., tells Bustle. "But this behavior alone is not a dealbreaker."
1. They're Inconsistent With You
Your partner may be super sweet and attentive one week and completely ghost you the next. If your partner is not consistent in the way they treat you, licensed graduate marriage and family therapist, Jordan Madison, tells Bustle, that's a sign they may eventually fall out of love. You and your partner don't have to text every single day. But if you find yourself wondering when you're going to hear from them, they're being inconsistent. According to Madison, you're likely dealing with someone whose words and actions don't match up. When there's that much uncertainty, it may be best to speak with them to see where their feelings are at.
2. They're Non-Committal In Other Areas Of Their Life
If a partner easily cancels plans with their friends to spend quality time with you, it can seem like a good sign. But it's important to pay attention to how often they do this, because as Madison says, people who tend to fall out of love tend to be non-committal in other areas of their life such as jobs and obligations to their family and friends. If they're the type to job hop, they likely get bored and restless staying in one place for too long. While this won't predict with certainty that they will fall out of love, it's something to take note of.
3. They Still Keep Up Their Ex
There's nothing wrong with your partner being friends with their ex, if you're OK with it. But if you're not and your partner doesn't really have a good reason to stay in touch like shared kids, they shouldn't feel the need to keep up with their ex. That's especially true if your partner was the one who initiated the breakup. According to Dr. Dabney, staying in touch with an ex suggests that your partner may not be able to commit to just you. Again, if this is something that bothers you, try talking with them about it, and see if you can work it out from there.
4. They Feel Most Excited When They're Trying Something New
This can be anything from trying out a new hobby, to new food, to new things in the bedroom. "People who are primarily driven by emotion are those that show shifts in many areas of their lives," Kelsey M. Latimer, PhD, Founder of Hello Goodlife, tells Bustle. "You’ll see a happiness associated with the novelty of something new and when that newness wears off then other feelings come out quickly." But try not to jump to conclusions. If your partner is the adventurous type, it shouldn't cause you to worry unless you are seeing other signs they're losing interest.
5. They Look For Problems In Places Where There Aren't Any
If your partner is the type to create drama for the sake of having drama, Dr. Jory says, "This indicates a person who is looking for excitement in the now, and not thinking about how this might affect the future." This is the type of person who might play mind games with you, like purposely trying to make you jealous, just to see how you'd react. If they seem to stir the pot when things are otherwise OK, this may show that they're not mature enough for something stable and long-term.
6. They Respond To Stress In Negative Ways
If someone talks in extremes when minor things go wrong, it may show a lack of maturity, Dr. Dabney says. Behaviors like drinking too much can also suggest a lack of control. Relationships take a lot of work. You're going to have ups and downs. If your partner can't manage overwhelming situations in a healthy way, they may be the type to leave when your relationship hits a rough patch.
7. They're Always Late
Being with someone who has no sense of time can be super annoying. But beyond that, Dr. Dabney says being chronically late is a sign of someone who can be untrustworthy, unreliable, and lack empathy. If it happens all the time, it's rude, disrespectful, and can show that they may be a bit self-centered.
There are so many other factors beyond your partner's behaviors that go into whether or not they'll eventually fall out of love. It's different for everybody. But if you already have reason to believe this may happen, these are some signs to look out for.