7 Unexpected Signs Someone Is Attracted To You, According To Experts
Even if they're trying to play it cool, you may be able to tell when someone's attracted to you simply by keeping an eye on their body language. Without realizing it, we all do a few bizarre things when we're interested in someone. And these clues can, in some cases, accurately represent a person's true feelings.
As an example, we naturally sync up with those we're interested in. So if you're sitting across from your date in a candlelit restaurant, and they're sitting exactly like you, that can be a big tell. But body language isn't the only way to know someone's intrigued. There are also physical changes (like dilated pupils) and other mannerisms that can be a positive sign.
It's important not to jump to too many conclusions, though, based on what someone's doing. "[Reading someone's body language] will give you only a superficial idea of what the person is thinking," Maryann Karinch, body language expert and author of The Art of Body Talk, tells Bustle. Everyone's different, and this isn't an exact science. But it may provide a few hints as to what they're feeling, before you're both comfortable enough to talk about it. Read on for some more interesting signs someone is attracted to you, according to experts.
1. Their Pupils Are Dilated
One way to spot a budding connection is by looking the other person in the eye, and casually noticing whether or not their pupils are dilated.
"When we like someone [...] we want to see more of [them], so the pupils dilate (get bigger) to allow more light in," Tiffany Toombs, life coach, body language expert, and owner of Blue Lotus Mind Coaching & Training, tells Bustle. Their eyes — or, at least, their pupils — will literally get larger as they look at you.
Also, "pupils dilate when cognitive effort increases," Justin Lavelle, chief communications officer at the background checking site PeopleLooker, tells Bustle. And that can be a sign they're fully engaged, interested in the conversation, and want to know more.
2. They Aren't Blinking As Often
If it seems like this person isn't blinking as often, Toombs says, it could be another sign they're interested in you. "Same as with the pupils dilating, when we want to see more of someone, we unconsciously match our blinking time to theirs so we see more of that person," she says.
While they're still blinking, it may seem to you as if they haven't wet their peepers in a while, all because your blinking rates have synced up. Interesting, right?
3. They Start "Glitching"
"Attraction often involves a kind of tension we might call 'good stress,'" Karinch says. "Whether stress is caused by something 'good' or 'bad,' however, the body has some similar responses."
And that's why you may notice them fidgeting or acting a bit awkward, in response to their rush of feelings. "When most people are nervous, they have some 'glitchy' behavior like playing with an earring, rubbing fingers together, or stroking the side of their neck," Karinch says. "On a date with someone you find exciting, and who finds you exciting, these self-soothing movements might occur more frequently."
4. They Have Open Body Language
"Another reaction — one that suggests some degree of comfort with a person as well as the desire to connect — is open body language," Karinch says. "Open body language involves leaving the front of your body 'unprotected' by arms or holding a phone or a glass of whatever you’re drinking in front of you, for example. This could also be called invitational body language, and it’s the body language of trust."
Basically, instead of sitting hunched up in a chair or crossing their arms, they might turn towards you and seem open and ready to talk. And if you're looking to make a connection, that can be a great sign.
5. They Change The Tone Of Their Voice
A 2014 study found that people vary the strength, tone, and pitch of their voice when speaking to folks they find attractive, which is something you may be able to pick up on.
It was even possible, in the study, for those who were overhearing these conversations to tell when the sparks were flying, simply by listening to the participant's tone of voice.
These vocal changes happen because we subconsciously want to stand out from the pack and attract a partner, which can be easier if your voice is deeper or higher than normal. So the next time you're on a date, or witnessing one, see if you can pick up on these variations.
6. They Steal Your Hand Gestures
"When we are attracted to someone, we easily fall into rapport with them and want to be more 'like' them," Toombs says. And that can include copying certain gestures and mannerisms, or acting the same way, without even realizing it.
"We unconsciously adopt common words or phrases of the person we are attracted to, we adopt their hand gestures, postures, and even the rate and depth of their breath," she says. "Side note: this concept is also why couples begin to look like each other after some time together."
7. They Start Glowing
If someone's falling for you, they might literally glow due to their attraction, as well as the new crop of oil on their skin. "When we like someone," Toombs says, "our pores open, allowing more oil secretion and our skin gets more shiny."
Folks in love may also start to look different, too, thanks to the way blood circulates through the body. They might literally have a natural flush to their face, due to increased blood flow to the skin. So keep an eye out for a certain glow, as well as pinker cheeks.
These things can all add up to mean someone is, in fact, interested in getting to know you better. Because even if this person initially tries to hide their attraction — whether it's due to nerves, doubt, etc. — these subtle clues can give them away.