7 Ways Tell If Someone Is Soulmate Material In The First 5 Minutes Of Meeting Them
Sometimes, you may meet someone and feel an instant connection, as though you are soulmates — you just click, and you can't explain it. In fact, that soulmate-level connection can start as quickly as five minutes into meeting them.
"Sometimes, there is instant chemistry with someone and, other times, it's just a feeling," Stef Safran, matchmaking and dating expert, tells Bustle. "If someone is a soulmate, it still will take real time to get to know someone, but on the off-chance it's instant chemistry, you might feel certain ways that you haven't felt before."
You may think meeting someone who's soulmate material is similar to the feeling of love at first sight: You meet someone and you just know they're destined for you. In 2014, Match's Singles In America survey questioned more than 5,000 singles on the concept — 41 percent of men and 29 percent of women said they've experienced love at first sight. Maybe you're among one of the believers or know someone who's with their soulmate. Whatever the case may be, relationship experts say there are ways to tell if someone is soulmate material in the first five minutes of meeting them. Here are seven things to look out for, from your curiosity level to an inexplicable spark.
1. You're Curious About Them
You know those times you meet someone and instantly want to know everything about them? Well, it turns out that's a good sign, meeting-your-soulmate-wise. "It is hard to get a complete sense of a person in only five minutes — it takes time to learn, experience, and know someone," Laurie-Anne King, Relationship Expert & Relationship Coach, tells Bustle. "However, when you first meet someone, pay attention to certain things, such as how you feel about them. You don't need to have fireworks shooting off for it to be love at first sight. Even a feeling of curiosity can be a sign that there is a connection."
2. You Feel A Spark You Cannot Explain
Although you may feel a spark every time you meet someone you date or want to date, when you meet someone who's soulmate material, the spark is likely different. "You feel a spark unlike one you've had in the past," Safran says. "But, you also feel that you both are looking for something more than a [physical] connection."
King agrees, saying you can ask yourself: "Is there chemistry? Do I feel a pull towards them?"
3. Your Values Match
Another key trait to have in common with someone who's soulmate material, is having shared core values — whether it's independence, your lifestyle, or your view on having kids.
King suggests asking yourself: "Do they act in any way that goes against your values? This is a red flag."
4. They Don't Raise Any Red Flags
When it comes to dating, everyone has dealbreakers as far as what they will not tolerate in a relationship, such as refusing to date a smoker or someone who's not great managing their money. As far as determining if someone is soulmate material, Amie Leadingham, Amie the Dating Coach, Master Certified Relationship Coach, tells Bustle that you'll want to make sure they don't check off any of your non-negotiables.
"That usually takes a few months to find out," Leadingham says. "But let's say your parents or closest friends that know you and your non-negotiables introduce you to someone and you hit it off in the first five minutes. I can see that arrangement having a higher success rate!"
5. You Can Trust Them & They Are Respectful
Trust is a key component of a relationship, and such is the case regarding soulmate-material partners, too. "You feel that this person gives the aura that they are trustworthy and truly interested in you," Safran says. Like trust, you and your partner also need to respect each other, or else resentment soon clouds the relationship.
King says another way to determine if someone is soulmate material is by making sure respect exists. "Are they respectful — of you, of themselves, and of others?" she says.
6. You Have Food Compatibility
You may be familiar with the phrase that the way to someone's heart is through their stomach, and if you're a foodie — or a food expert —you may agree. "I always say you can tell [if someone's your soulmate] right away — by your food compatibility," Amy Reiley, author of the bestselling cookbook Eat Cake Naked, tells Bustle. "Look at what they order and how they eat it. Both the choice and the body language can offer great insight into your future."
7. You Can Be Yourself
Isn't it the best when you can be your *true self* around someone? Well, when you meet someone who's soulmate material, part of why you may feel such an instant connection with them is because you immediately feel comfortable with them — and you can't explain it. Shlomo Zalman Bregman, Rabbi and matchmaker, says making a soulmate-level connection may take more than five minutes, but there is one thing you can look out for in the first five minutes of meeting someone. "You can be yourself — your most honest, 'real' self," he tells Bustle.
"Whereas many people go through life holding back major pieces of themselves from everyone else, and only sharing what they want seen — when you find your proper partner, they really can 'see' you," Rabbi Bregman says. "Moreover, you will feel comfortable to be yourself and feel accepted and loved, without any pretense. This backdrop creates a precious opportunity to have truly honest communication and to share love, fears, and hopes without judgment. If you feel unusually comfortable with someone as soon as you meet them, it certainly bodes well for the future, and may indeed by a sign that you've just met 'the one.'"
Whether you believe in soulmates or not, the above tips from relationship experts can at least let you know if someone has potential to be a good match for you right when you meet them. Then, as some of the experts advise, as time goes by, you can see if someone is truly your soulmate and if your relationship is built to last.