7 Ways To Maintain Your Sex Life In A Long-Distance Relationship


While there are many untold upsides to being in a long-distance relationship, like the ability to choose where you live and have a place to yourself, one challenge that comes with the territory of LDRs is maintaining your sex life when you and your partner are apart. Fortunately, thanks largely to technology, physical distance doesn't have to make you sexually distant.

"LDRs can feel more challenging because you don’t have the luxury or convenience of being side by side or a quick Lyft ride away from one another, but that doesn’t have to be detrimental to your bond," sex educator Anne Hodder tells Bustle. "Couples in long-distance relationships not only have to commit to being one another’s partner, and the consistent work that it requires, but also commit to putting forth the effort necessary to communicate needs, desires, feelings, and fears to one another from afar without the benefit of being able to share physical space or hold hands. While that might sound inconvenient, it actually can be conducive to an even stronger intimate connection — because you both have to be 100 percent 'in it' to make it work."

Here are some tips to try if you and your partner want more out of your long-distance sex life.

1. Use Teledildonic Toys

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Fortunately for couples in LDRs, you don't have to be in the same room to sexually stimulate each other. How do you accomplish that with miles between you? Through teledildonic toys, of course. OhMiBod's Bluemotion Nex 1- 2nd Generation, Club Vibe 3.OH Panty Vibe, and Fuse can all be controlled remotely via an app. We-Vibe's Sync also connects to an app that lets you and your partner video chat, so you can experience sex with all your senses.

2. Exchange NSFW Films

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What's just as hot as (or even hotter than) looking into each other's eyes during sex? Watching each other masturbate. And this activity can be enjoyed whether you're geographically close or far apart. If you're shy about being naked on video, Astroglide's resident sexologist Dr. Jess O'Reilly suggests filming yourself in the dark or just recording your voice. "Filming yourself in the throes of solo passion might be too intimidating, so consider sending a very short clip of your self-pleasure session filmed in the dark," she tells Bustle. "Your lover will benefit from the sounds, and the lack of a clear picture helps to build mystery and anticipation."

3. Leave Behind Sexy Surprises When You Visit

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Catch your partner off guard by leaving a pair of underwear, your signature perfume, or a dirty love note at their place as you depart, Dr. Jess says. That way, they'll be able to enjoy your company even in your absence.

4. Use A Couples' App

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Couples' apps like Couple, We Did It, and Happy Couple help couples stay connected and get to know each other long-distance, and more R-rated ones like Desire help keep the spark alive. Dr. Jess recommends InTheMood for couples who want to flirt and communicate their desires across long distances. "You’ll likely find you’re more playful and at ease if you use a separate app, as opposed to texting sweet nothings in between practical messages," she says.

5. Write Your Own Erotica

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Instead of searching erotica sites for masturbation material, how about creating your own that both of you can enjoy? It might even give you inspiration for when you're back together. Hodder suggests sending your stories to each other over snail mail if you want them to feel extra personalized.

6. Talk On WhatsApp

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WhatsApp can keep your messages more private and secure than regular old texts, says Hodder. "It feels a little naughtier, or like you can role play with partners as though they’re flings or side pieces."

7. Enjoy A Mutual Masturbation Session

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Mutual masturbation has lots of benefits, like teaching each other what you like and enjoying sexual intimacy. And the best part is, apps like Skype and Google Hangouts let you do it from anywhere. "Allowing each other to laugh and feel weird about it at first" will help dissolve the tension, says Hodder.

And, of course, don't focus just on the sex. "Remember that emotional connection is an important part of a strong sex life," says Hodder. "So don’t forget to communicate your dreams, ideas, excitement for the future, and what you love about your partner beyond their sexy parts."