It takes a lot of different components to keep a relationship happy and healthy. It's absolutely paramount that you don't just make a concerted effort, but that you also lay down some groundwork. You need to have something sturdy on which to build your relationship.
But even the healthiest relationships can eventually feel a bit stale. I don't mean that you want to give up, but keeping things fresh and exciting, especially in the bedroom, requires just as much effort as the relationship — if not more so. When you've been together for awhile, you may find that you need to make things a bit more interesting in the bedroom. Although there's no guarantee that your relationship will suffer if your sex life suffers, but since having a healthy sex life does help your relationship in general, you definitely want to do what you can to make sure things are spicy in the bedroom. "If you come to realize that your partner is boring in bed, congratulations! You’ve just taken the first step towards better sex," Dr. Emily Morse, host of sex and relationship advice podcast Sex with Emily, tells Bustle.
So if you're sitting around with your partner wondering how you can ignite some crazy level of fire in bed, like the fire you knew back in the day, here are nine positions that just might be able to do that.
The Crab Walk
How to do it: While in the crab walk facing each other, interlock your legs, while pulling yourself close enough so your partner can penetrate you.
Why it could ignite your relationship: If you or your partner are visual creatures, this position is hot AF because you get to watch the penetration happen. So with you both getting this view, it's pretty great.
How to do it: Find a spot, then proceed to masturbate. Use your fingers, your toys, or whatever else you prefer when it comes to getting yourself off.
Why it could ignite your relationship: Watching your partner getting themselves off is really sexy. So when you're watching them, while they're watching you, it's even sexier. I'm a huge advocate of mutual masturbation, not just because of what you learn from each other, but it builds intimacy. Intimacy leads to better sex.
How to do it: With your partner lying down on their back, straddle them while facing away from them. From here, you can either remain sitting upright or lean forward, while being penetrated.
Why it could ignite your relationship: When you get into the reverse cowgirl position, you're giving your partner a great view. What view would that be? Your ass. Whether you sleep with men or women, it doesn't matter; your partner wants to see your ass.
Kneeling Reach Around
How to do it: While in doggy style, either your partner can reach around to stimulate your clitoris with a toy (or their fingers), or you can just do it yourself. It's your call.
Why it could ignite your relationship: Although sex toys being used during sex has become mainstream, if you don't use them on a regular basis, then adding them could definitely ignite your relationship. For example, having a vibrator on tap is going to take the pressure off both of you, because your partner won't feel like your pleasure is their soul responsibility and you won't have performance anxiety. Sex toys add just enough to get you both off, but also give you the chance to focus on other things.
How to do it: Start in missionary, then lift your legs so they're on your partner's shoulders. Actually, the more you roll back, the deeper the penetration.
Why it could ignite your relationship: Honestly, it's just a hot position — your legs are thrown back, your partner is in control, and you can easily stimulate your clitoris with your hand or a small toy, while feeling that intensely deep sensation of penetration.
How to do it: For this one, you can either do it side by side, or with one partner on top of the other. Either way, you want your faces in/on each other's crotches.
Why it could ignite your relationship: Well, look at it. I know some women aren't down with 69, especially if there's a big height difference, but since it's a position that I'm pretty sure isn't done all that often, it's going to ignite the eff out of your relationship.
How to do it: While on your hands and knees, have your partner penetrate you from behind, as they use your hips for leverage and pull themselves in deeper.
Why it could ignite your relationship: Doggy style is one of the most animalistic sex positions out there — which may be why it's a favorite. If you haven't had doggy in awhile and your relationship needs some fire, then look no further than doggy style.
How to do it: Grab a chair and decide who gets to sit first. Once one partner is seated, the other partner is to get all in there with their face and stimulate, stimulate, stimulate orally.
Why it could ignite your relationship: Again, we have an intimate position that can make you feel even closer to your partner than you normally would because, um, look at it. It's delicious; no pun intended.
Yes, relationships absolutely take work. But if you can keep the fire alive in the bedroom, then at least you've got that going for you.