I have been a fan of sex toys ever since I bought my very first vibrator at Condomworld in Boston. My college boyfriend and I were "on a break," and I thought the best way to deal with the emptiness was to buy a vibrator and a fancy shmancy lunch for myself. When I got home later that day, I opened the package, tossed in some batteries, and had my mind blown. There was no going back after that.
But back then, my awesome vibrator wasn't something I discussed. Sadly, my masturbation habits, too, I kept to myself. So although I had this great toy that I loved (it was baby blue!) and from which I had some pretty intense orgasms, it was my secret for a long time. And the thought of using it with my partner, once our "break" was over, was completely out of the question. I'm so happy I don't feel that way anymore.
One of the big reasons my sex life with my current partner is so good is because we use sex toys. Neither one of us shies away from introducing new ones to our sexual activities, and we both agree that variation in sex toys also enhances our sexual experiences with each other. These days, I can't imagine having sex without them in our toolbox.
If you have yet to use a sex toy with your partner, then it's time to shake things up. Here are 10 great reasons why you should be working them into your sex life.
1. They Take The Pressure Off Of You
Sometimes it's hard to orgasm — no matter how giving your partner is. According to the Kinsey Institute, 70 percent of women need some sort of clitoral stimulation in order to achieve orgasm. While stimulation of the clit can be achieved with fingers or the tongue, depending on your position, those might not be options. In reaching for that extra help from a vibrator, you're taking the pressure to orgasm off of yourself, which can help open all kinds of doors to orgasming with your partner in general.
2. They Take The Pressure Off Your Partner
No matter how long you've been with your partner, they're never really going to be able to hit that spot the way you can when you're masturbating. In bringing a sex toy or two (or more) to the bedroom, you will not only take the pressure off of your trying to achieve orgasm, but it will take the pressure off your partner, too. Sex will be relaxing and tingly, like it's supposed to be, for both of you.
3. You're More Likely To Have Multiple Orgasms
Once you take the pressure off yourself and off your partner, then you can open the door to not just orgasms that are easier to reach, but even multiple orgasms. It's actually a scientific fact that vibrators enhance sexual satisfaction, so between toys and your partner, you're setting yourself up for an intense situation that will be full of more orgasms than you'd probably get if it was just you and your partner sans the battery-operated toys. It keeps going and going and going...
4. Exploration Makes For Hotter Sex
Exploring new realms in your sexual relationship doesn't just open up doors to things you never knew you could possibly enjoy, but creates an even greater sexual bond. Let's be honest: You never forget the first person who handcuffed you to the bedpost.
There are remote control toys that your partner can control from across the room (or across the globe); butt plugs for those looking to try out anal play; dildos, which are great while a woman is receiving oral sex; and whips, blindfolds, handcuffs, gag ball, and nipple clamps for those looking to take their BDSM game up a few notches.
5. They Encourage You To Try New Positions
With all this exploration going on, you never know exactly what sort of twisted up positions in which you'll find yourself. The Kama Sutra may have only 64 positions, but with enough creativity and a sex toy as your guide, you might find there are more than that.
6. Mutual Masturbation Is Awesome
We already know that masturbation is really good for you, but it's also really hot to watch each other masturbate. And, it's really educational, too.
Masturbating with sex toys in front of your partner not only shows them what you like and how you get yourself off, but it's great foreplay. Men, especially, are very visual creatures, so for them to be allowed behind the curtain to watch you masturbate basically makes them feel like they've hit the jackpot. And if you're into someone, then you'll probably be equally into watching them pleasure themselves.
7. They Can Help Bring Fantasies To Life
If you've always wanted to play the authoritative school teacher, there's a whip for that. Or maybe you've been fantasizing about playing a police officer and handcuffing your partner to the bed ― whatever the case may be, dressing up, role playing, and using toys as your props is the best way to take the fantasies out of your head and into the real world.
8. You'll Be Giving The Middle Finger To Any Stigma
Although sex toy use is more common than ever, they still sometimes get a bad rap for being only for "lonely" women, and even some men are intimidated by the idea of "competing" with sex toys. Seriously, guys? By using toys in the bedroom you and your partner will be giving the finger to those outdated myths — which only makes sex even more fun.
9. You'll Finally Put Your Curiosity To Bed
So, you've been happily enjoying your sex toy solo, but you've been wondering just how much enjoyment it would be if you introduced it to your partner. Well, what are you waiting for then? Once you give it a try, you can stop wondering, and start having the best sex of your life.
10. Buying Them Together Is A Bonding Experience
In purchasing sex toys together, you can decide which ones are going to be a good fit for the both of you. There's a huge variety of toys out there, and with a little trial and error, you'll find one that works for the two of you. Also, don't be afraid to talk to the salespeople — they can lead you in the right direction.