As much as a quickie or the beloved doggy style position can totally hit the spot when it comes to getting it on, sometimes you want a little bit more. Sometimes you want to take the time for intimate sex positions, ones that don't just bring you physically closer to your partner, but emotionally closer to them, too. You want to be able to lock eyes, move slower, feel their entire body against you, and even allow yourself to feel vulnerable — these are the components for sex positions that build intimacy and really strengthen the bond between two people which, in the long run, is great for your sex life.
“Sex can be the perfect conduit to build intimacy between a couple because it addresses both the emotional and physical aspects of intimacy. Skin-to-skin contact allows for the release of the 'bonding' hormone oxytocin and helps you build trust — an important component of intimacy,” relationship and sex expert Dr. Kat Van Kirk told Bustle. “Emotionally, sex can help you learn to open up and become vulnerable with your partner by being willing to try new things and discuss sensitive topics related to your sexuality."
But of all the sex positions from which to choose, narrowing it down to the ones that are going to offer such closeness can be hard. There are hundreds of sex positions out there and while I do hope you take the time to try them all at least once, I'd also like to help you with your search.
So, if you're feeling a bit of distance between you and your partner and are hoping to close that gap that's currently taking up unwanted space, here are nine sex positions that will make you feel closer to your partner.
1Face To Face
How to do it: While on your sides, facing each other, pull yourself extra close to your partner so your hips are basically hugging each other. Then lift your upper leg and drape it over their hip so your partner can penetrate you.
Why it will make you feel closer to your partner: With your legs intertwined and all that eye contact, it's hard NOT to feel close to your partner. You have the great vantage point of watching each other's face and how each movement affects you both.
How to do it: First have your partner sit on a sturdy surface with their legs crossed. Next you want to get into the same position, but in their lap with your legs wrapped around their waist. So it's like they're holding you in their lap, as you both begin to grind and rock in a way that allows for fantastic feeling penetration.
Why it will make you feel closer to your partner: You're not just in your partner's lap, but giving each other a hug while having sex. Your entire body is wrapped around theirs; it's not like you could possibly get any physically or emotionally closer even if you tried.
How to do it: After starting in doggy style position, you want to lower yourselves down until you're pretty much flat against the bed.
Why it will make you feel closer to your partner: Modified doggy gives you the G-spot stimulation that comes with regular doggy style, but allows for kissing and feeling your partner's entire body against yours. It's really intimate, but still has the primal aspect that people tend to love about traditional doggy style.
4In A Chair
How to do it: With your partner sitting in a chair, straddle them and the chair, then lower yourself into their lap.
Why it will make you feel closer to your partner: When you get outside the bedroom, things become not just more exciting but a bonding experience. Also, there's the fact that you're both working to make sure you don't fall out of the chair, while grinding and looking into each other's eyes.
How to do it: Although this position can be done anywhere, as long as you have a view of each other, I always opt for the bed because it's comfortable there. Once you're both settled into your spots, begin to masturbate.
Why it will make you feel closer to your partner: Although your bodies aren't locked in an intense embrace, mutual masturbation is an intimate act in that you're showing your partner something very few people get to see. Because of this, and the bonding that comes with it, you'll definitely feel closer to your partner.
How to do it: While in the spooning cuddle position, have your partner penetrate you. This might take a little finagling and involves you lifting your upper leg a little bit so they can get in there.
Why it will make you feel closer to your partner: This position is essentially a cuddle with a little something extra — intercourse. Cuddling has several benefits, one of which is that it strengthens the bond between the two people doing the cuddling, making this position perfect for when you want to feel closer to your partner.
How to do it: While one partner sits, the other partner gives oral. Then you can switch.
Why it will make you feel closer to your partner: No matter how you slice it, oral sex is one of the most intimate sex acts out there. I'm actually one of those people who regards it as even more intimate than sex, so much so that I can count, on one hand, how many people with whom I've engaged in oral sex. Because the act is so intimate it immediately makes you feel closer to your partner, while both receiving and giving. And once you add in the chair factor, it's even hotter.
How to do it: As the name suggests, you want to be on top of your partner. So have your partner lie down, then straddle them and voila!
Why it will make you feel closer to your partner: Again we have a position in which you and your partner can look into each other's eyes. It's also perfect for clitoral stimulation because, in being on top, you get to control your orgasm. When you do orgasm, with your eyes locked with your partner's eyes, you'll definitely feel far closer than you would if you climaxed while not looking into their eyes.
9Anal Sex Or Anal Play
How to do it: Grab the lube and get into whatever position that's most comfortable for you. Next, have your partner penetrate your ass with either their penis, finger, or a toy. The choice is yours! (But do NOT forget the lube.)
Why it will make you feel closer to your partner: While at first this might seem a little weird that anal will make you feel closer to your partner, but hear me out. First of all, it's a position that builds intimacy because it requires a lot of trust and an extra amount of communication. Secondly, you're engaging in something that still gets a bad rap (although it shouldn't!) which is bond-building in itself.
“[Anal] develops a certain amount of sensitivity and communication in order to make it a comfortable and arousing experience for everyone,” relationship and sex expert Dr. Kat Van Kirk tells Bustle, “It may make you feel more intimate with your partner because it is considered so taboo.”
Sex positions that make you feel closer to your partner have so benefits. Between the bonding and intimacy factor, you're not just enjoying the moment but strengthening your relationship. And anything that will do that is definitely worth trying.