9 Ways To Refresh Your Sex Life This Spring
It might have felt slow in coming, but spring has finally, officially sprung, which means it's also time for everyone's least favorite task of the year: spring cleaning. But the goods news is that spring cleaning doesn't *have* to be dusty and boring — because why clean your home when you can just focus on spring cleaning your sex life instead?
"In all honesty, any time of year is a great time to experiment with different sexual experiences, but spring and its emphasis on renewal and transformation seems to give us a little extra permission to try stuff out," Anne Hodder, ACS, multi-certified sex educator based in Los Angeles, tells Bustle.
Thanks largely to the sunny weather and good vibes, we're all filled with a sense of renewed energy in spring, which makes it the perfect season to hit refresh on your sex life — especially if you feel stuck in a rut in the bedroom. If you want to take advantage of the sultry, playful atmosphere of springtime and heat things up between the sheets with your partner, here are nine sexpert-approved hacks for reinvigorating your sex life to try ASAP.
1. Clarify Your Intentions
Before you dive headfirst into the process of spring cleaning your sex life, it's a good idea to ask yourself why you want to change things up in the first place.
"The first step is to get clear on your intentions," Hodder says. "What exactly do you want to refresh or try differently? And what is your motivation here? Do you feel pressured to 'spring clean' your sex life because you feel like you 'should' or do you really want to incorporate something new or different into your intimate routine?"
2. Take An Inventory Of Your Sex Life
Once you know why and how you want to refresh your sex life, the next step is to take an inventory of your sex life as it currently stands: take note of any routines, habits, or patterns you might have.
"Do you initiate sex the same way every time? Are there any kinds of play that you’ve been avoiding because you feel shy or intimidated?" Hodder asks. "Get honest (and kind) with yourself, and then get realistic with your expectations by setting reasonable attainable goals. Want to incorporate sex toys into your partnered play? Great, that’s totally doable. Want to learn Shibari in time for Coachella? That might need a reality check."
3. Discuss Your Secret Desires With Your Partner
The secret to a hot AF sex life? Having good communication skills — because you can't shake things up in your sex life if you and your partner don't feel comfortable sharing your fantasies and turn-ons with each other.
"Try writing down three things that you’ve always wanted to try, or that you’ve done once and would love to do again, and get your partner to do the same," Lovehoney sexpert Sammi Cole tells Bustle. "Then swap and discuss which from each list you’d love to try; which you’re curious about; and which, if any, are a definite no-no. Now you’ve got yourselves one to-do list that you won’t be able to resist ticking off!"
4. Commit To A Sexy Challenge
If you're feeling up to a challenge, commit to trying something new in bed each night — like a toy, position, or kink — for as long as you think you can keep it up.
"Spring is the perfect time to renew your sexual commitment," Kelly Connell, Sexuality Educator and Sexuality Expert for MyFirstBlush.com, tells Bustle. "Just as the earth is waking up after a long sleep, you can wake up your sex life. Take a sex challenge with your partner. Resolve to try one new thing, position, toy, etc. once a week."
5. Clean Out Your Sex Toy Drawer
Every now and then, it's a good idea to sift through your sex toy drawer: you can toss anything that hasn't been ~doing it~ for you, and use that as an opportunity to buy a new toy — and why not take your partner with you and pick something sexy out together? And if you've never had a toy before but you're interested in trying one, now is the time to treat yourself.
"Invest in a new sex toy," Connell says. "Think outside the box. Have you been wanting to try a vibrator? A sex swing? Experiment with anal pleasuring? Sometimes something simple like a new toy or trying a toy for the first time can really heat things up."
6. Use More Lube
One product that's seriously underrated on the sexiness scale? Lube — because even if you don't necessarily think you need it, lube can still enhance your sexual experience.
"Sexual lubricants are one of the easiest and most underrated ways to boost your sex life," Caleb Backe, Health and Wellness Expert for Maple Holistics, tells Bustle. "In addition to making it easier to get aroused, many people find that it simply makes sex better. In fact, surveys show that lube can significantly improve sexual pleasure in women especially."
7. Have Sex In New Places
As comfortable as having sex in a large, soft bed can be, why limit yourself to doing it in one place? Spring is the perfect time to branch out and get frisky in fun new spots.
"Instead of ending up on the couch or bedroom, try new places — the shower, the bathtub, outside in a private yard, in the kitchen or standing up in the hallway," Rhonda Milrad, LCSW, Relationship Therapist, and founder of online relationship community, Relationup, tells Bustle. "The thrill of doing something outside the norm will make these experiences exciting and fun."
8. Spend More Time On Foreplay
Making your sex life hotter isn't about speeding things up — it's about slowing things down. A great yet simple way to reinvigorate your sex life is by spending more time on foreplay before the "main event" (whatever that means for you).
"Slow down the [sex] so that time is spent building up to the act," Milrad says. "Spend ample time with foreplay before actually having sex. It draws out the anticipation and is an incredible turn on."
9. Give Sexting A Try
Sexting might not come naturally to everyone, but it's nevertheless a great tool for building anticipation in the bedroom and keeping you sexually connected to your partner, even when you're apart.
"Send your partner a sexy text during the day that tells them what you want to do to them when you see them at home," Milrad says. "It is a complete turn on to start the foreplay during the day over the phone."
No matter how you choose to spring clean your sex life, you can use this change in season as a way to increase your pleasure, connect more with your partner, and try something new — then, by the time the notoriously hot and steamy summer rolls around, you'll be a seasoned vet in the bedroom.