The world is a weird and magical place. And nowhere is that weird factor more obvious than if you go looking for weird sex toys. Just when you think you've stumbled onto something really strange and one-of-a-kind, with a click of the mouse, you're likely to come across something even weirder. Before you know it, you're in a rabbit whole of inventions that people are using in bed (or laundry room, as you'll see below) and, like driving by a car accident, you can't help but stare. The world isn't just weird and magical, but pretty damn kinky, too.
Because sexual desires and fetishes run the gamut, it's safe to assume that whatever invention you'd like to introduce to your bedroom probably already exists — and if it doesn't, then you can always get creative and make your own. It might not necessarily be state of the art, but if it gets the job done and provides the pleasure (or pain) that you're craving, then that's all that really matters.
If you're looking to spice up your sex life with some out-of-the-box toys, here are the ones that will do just that — and maybe clean your dirty clothes too.
1
Orgasmatron 3000
Although the Orgasmatron 3000 washing machine might not be easy to lug into bed with you, it's still an invention that was created to get people off. It's also an invention made for those who like to multi-task and who are looking to "bring the fun back to housework," as the site explains. Just get on it and ride, baby, ride.
2
The Gaga Vibrator
In 2014, when sex toy company Svakom debuted The Gaga Vibrator, there was a collective "WTF" across the Internet. Here was a vibrator, with a camera on the end of it, that let both you and your partner get an up close and personal view of your vagina... which I know every woman absolutely wants. It can also be streamed live if you're in a long-distance relationship.
The Gaga Vibrator, $155, Lovehoney
3
Silicone Penis Cage & Ring Set
Boasting sensations for both the wearer and the receiver, this invention, that looks practically medieval, claims to deliver. Although I can't imagine it's too comfortable on the person with the penis, but to each their own.
4
Rimba Electro Powerbox Stimulator Set
While I can't confirm how many people are actually using this invention that's meant to electrically shock you, it exists so someone, somewhere is having a fine time with it. Definitely not for the faint of heart, this electro powerbox "generates a wide range of interesting sensations by sending electrical impulses through the skin." So if you've been struck my lightening and really liked it, this invention is for you.
5
Crave Razor Sensation Tool
It may look like something out of a nightmare, but the razor tool is meant to tantalize and tease. So, if you enjoy such a sensation, it's time to add this one to your goodie drawer.
Crave Razor Sensation Tool, $153, Xenses
6
Cone Vibrator
Sadly, the Cone Vibrator has been discontinued, but there are still people out there who have it and use it — I can name three off the top of my head actually. Ideal for anal, clitoral, or G-spot stimulation, the Cone Vibrator was created to be an all-in-one toy for the price of $130. Discontinued or not, the thing is still pretty damn weird.
Cone Vibrator, $130, Discontinued
7
Jimmyjane Hello Touch
This invention is marketed as a couples toy. For men, you can use it to stimulate the prostate (as well as other parts) and for women it can be used to stimulate the clitoris (again, as well as other parts). The vibrating silicone fingerpads can be used all over your partner's body or, if you're rolling solo, all over your body.
Jimmyjane Hello Touch, $145, Jimmyjane
8
Sqweel Go
For the oral sex lover who has everything, comes the Sqweel Go made of 10 little tongues that's meant to recreate the sensation of oral from the nipples to clitoris to the anus to every place in between. And the best part? It's so small, you can bring it anywhere and everywhere.
9
Tenga Flip
I have actually used this with a male partner! It definitely looks a bit futuristic, but it's a masturbation contraption that men can use solo or with a partner.
Tenga Flip, $59, Amazon
Sex is about exploration and while some of them may seem bizarre to you, the fact that someone out there is getting off on their Orgasmatron 3000 and doing laundry at the same time right now is truly a beautiful thing.
