As heated as the first installment of the Vanderpump Rules Season 5 reunion trilogy got, there was only one moment that made me actually gasp out loud. Let me get to it: Y'all, Andy Cohen forgot to introduce Kristen. Yes, that Kristen. Andy Cohen somehow flew right on past one of the icons of the series.
I realize it was an honest mistake, I realize Andy Cohen was raring to get down to business, I realize he eventually got around to saying hi, and I realize I'd probably accidentally skip at least one intro every reunion if I were the host. But. How. Do. You. Forget. Kristen.
As Andy Cohen does at the top of every Bravo reunion, he went around the room and said hello to each Pumper. However, before he could greet Miami Girl's former partner in mayhem, he turned to Jax and asked him about that Brittany and Kristen rumor.
“Hi, is this our proper hello, by the way?” Kristen interrupted.
“Oh, my god. Did I not say hello to you?” Andy replied. She let him know that he did not say hello to her. Andy welcomed her to the fray, adding that he misses “crazy Kristen.” And then he got back to that Brittany and Kristen rumor.
If Pump Rules was a patchwork quilt, SUR would be the backing, the alcohol-fueled fights would be the batting, and each cast member would be a square. The thread? The thread that holds all of these important pieces together would be the weird, small, beautiful moments that come up throughout the show.
Tom Sandoval using Butter the dog as a handkerchief during Schwartz and Katie’s wedding ceremony. Jax being scared of everything happening on and around the gator boat. James Kennedy kindly reminding World Dog Day attendees to pick up their pets’ droppings between songs. Stassi begging a seagull to poo on her for good luck. Joe Simpson’s advice to Tom Sandoval. These aren’t the “big” moments that drive the storylines of the season, but they are some of the silly little moments that make this show feel whole. On its own, the thread is just a pile of string. But when it is part of the bigger picture — excuse me — the quilt, it proves to be indispensable.
Much like Jax cry-laughing at James’ imitation of Stassi returning to the show, Andy Cohen forgetting to introduce Kristen at the reunion was one of those small, weird, beautiful moments that make Pump Rules the perfect quilt that it is.